Reviews for The Heaven I Found in Hell

Reviews For: The Heaven I Found in Hell - Reviews: Page 1 of 29

faithful.dream 2008-07-07 ch 25,	abusei LOVE your stories, this one is SUPER cute
xHopeLesSdReaMeRx 2008-07-05 ch 25,	abusewow!! it's so so cute.. and nice.. and everything.. i love it! :)
Mosaic Stains 2008-04-15 ch 3,	abuseOkay... so supermodels aren't porn stars... True. But being a Victoria Secret can be considered one in reference of the name and what they model. Which brings me to the next thing I was going to mention. I was thinking over the fact that she was a Victoria Secret Model earlier... then it came to me what was amiss with that and her being that sort of model. Firstly as I know of, V.S. models aren't exactly skin and bones. Most have a bit of meat on them and a little over adequate chest sizes. I'm not saying they aren't thin or b size breasted. But a majority over rules with them, and according to the truth behind V.S. most of the models have to have some sort of body. Therefore, the idea of her being skinny enough to break may be a bit exaggerated for a V.S. model. Albeit, funny to imagine, but still a bit exaggerated. Moving on... I felt sorry for her when Riley's teammates instantly subjected her to sterotype comments. Yet, it was nice to see she handled herself well, walked off a bit strong, and some sort of emotion. She's human, is what it showed, not just an image. As to the tabloids... oh well! Star deal with it every day although they may not like it. So they have to have some sort of tough skin when it comes to seeing a picture of them in the newspaper and an unexclusive report of what happened. Personally I think she shouldn't be so sensitive to it and should shrug it off. Again, nice chapter... Until later! ~M. Stains
Mosaic Stains 2008-04-15 ch 2,	abuseWell, I'm not Catholic-- although, I'm quite aware of Catholicism-- but my parents simply being the way they are, I'd regret ever saying that to them. Literally... No matter if I don't live with them, am an adult, and married. Yet, on to this review. The second chapter is nice. I saw a few mistakes. For instance, the speech could have been more lacked and there was a part which came off British instead of American {Okay...maybe i'm exxagerating, but I know you lot get my point... (Lot isn't exactly used... and depending on where she's from in America she might use a different sort of slang. The 'I' in I'm was lower case and exaggerated had two xxes)}. Another example was: {“How’d you know I’m an athlete?” She asked with one of her eyebrows arched up. We put my luggage down on my bed, and headed over back to the living room. She went over to the kitchen, opened one of the cabinets and got out a big pack of Ruffles. On my side, I went over to the living room couch and plopped down on it.} You had a lot of overs in this one paragraph. In short, all I'm saying is after a bit of revision-- which I know you do, because you said you revised this chapter-- this chapter will come off better. I only put this because I'm not a harsh or nit-picky reviewer... And honestly hate pointing out people's every mistakes. So to move on... You have an added character..s, Riley and Nathan-- twins. What's up with twins these days? ^!^ Riley, doesn't seem like a bad character.. Nathan either. Still... there's something about her, Alexandra's, instant attraction to him that is disturbing. Or maybe it's the fact that you introduced them to each other so soon... Again, either way, that's just a personal expression and nothing to take notice of. Another personal thought is it'd be pretty cute if he was a handsome geek, rather than a jock... The problem with geeks are they can bigger jerks than jocks. '_' Well, I wonder how Riley and he are going to turn out. ~M.S.
Mosaic Stains 2008-04-12 ch 1,	abuseYou have no idea how many times I've tried to review you this past week... Well, I'm finally here, so to get started. The story certainly seems interesting, but I've learned not to judge a story until further into it. The reason for that is because by at least three chapters reader the should have an idea of what the story's main basis is, who one of the main characters are, and how the person tends to write. Yet, getting back to this chapter: {I stopped at the end of the runway and showed off the silver Calvin Klein dress I wore. The garment had a very low V neckline that almost fully exposed my chest. The dress was something you’d normally see in red carpet events, and wearing a gown that was probably going to be bought by some Hollywood actress gave me a good feeling, not a particularly great feeling since I was used to this kind of stuff. I was a Victoria’s Secret model, and I also did runways for a lot of top designers, like what I was doing at the moment, posing a Calvin Klein creation.} I pretty much like the simple and yet good descriptions of what she's wearing and how she sort of thinks. You gain from this paragraph she's pretty vain-- that is aside from what's she doing, and who she is occupationally. {She was in the process of removing her dress and changing into a comfortable pair of jeans and a halter silk top, while I ont he other hand, took out my Blackberry Pearl, and checked my schedule, just to make sure I hadn’t planned anything for tonight.} Your 't' for the got stuck with your word on... {I unlocked it and checked my organizer, and when I found the date, I frowned. I forgot about the dinner I was having with my parents. They had planned this a week ago, and I just couldn't cancel on them for the sake of going to a party that was probably going to have most of the same things every event I've been to had.} I take it her and her parents don't get along well. {A tall Japanese man went over to our place, and greeted us with a simple ‘Hello’ spoken in Japanese, before he took out a piece of paper and a pen. In english now, and with a very good American accent, as if he hadn't spoken Japanese a while ago, he told us to give our orders.} This might be a bad thing to advice on, but perhaps you could switch the saying of 'Hello' to either real Japanese ('Konnichiwa" or "Konbanwa", which means Good Evening). Or if not, being that the restaurant is 'five star' like, I could imagine him saying something more formal like 'welcome' (Irasshaimase, which is formally used in restaurants or stores). {The waiter left, and when I sideways glanced to my beloved parents, I saw my mother look at me disappointedly and worriedly, while my father had an expression of nonchalance on his face.} Her parents obviously love her and what does she give them back for their worry and love “I fucking hear you, alright” and a walk away. Had I ever said shit like that to my parents (or even if my children said something like that to me) and walked away... God! I'd be picking my teeth from the floor or swallowing blood... Such disrespect... towards a parent especially... needs to be rectified. My grandmothers' and parent law (of pyshics) is you never too old for an asswhipping... {“Mom, I need to eat like that. It’s needed in this industry.” I explained. I wasn’t anorexic, bulimic, or anything. I stood 5’9”, and I weighed 115 pounds. That wasn’t so bad, compared to some of the other models. I met one who had a height of 5’9”, but she weighed 100 pounds. See…I’m healthy!} That isn't unhealthy... that's near aneroxic for someone 5'9... {“Mom, I need to eat like that. It’s needed in this industry.” I explained. I wasn’t anorexic, bulimic, or anything. I stood 5’9”, and I weighed 115 pounds. That wasn’t so bad, compared to some of the other models. I met one who had a height of 5’9”, but she weighed 100 pounds. See…I’m healthy!} Then the industry isn't good nor healthy for her... no wonder her mother-- more so than her father-- wants her to get an education and get away from modeling... Well, I think that's enough to say in qoutes. Overall, again, the story seems like it's going somewhere. And you have good characterization going on. I just believe Alex needs to grow up... which I'm hoping she does... I also hope she learns somethings about herself-- like beauty doesn't last and age is forever... Meaning all of time will pass. Until my next review... ~M.S.
Kyvi Yang-A Girl No One Kno... 2008-03-31 ch 25, anon.	abuseGreat Story! um, while the story iss great, i REALLY suggest you change the rating of your story, to...maybe a T? there isnt really a lot of mature stuff, but there is a whole lot of swearing and...older dtuff you might not want younger kids to read
PotatoPie 2008-03-31 ch 14, anon.	abuseOh my god, she is so THICK it makes me wanna SCREAM.
lalonely 2008-03-14 ch 25,	abuseAW riley and anthony!! that was beautiful. the only thing i didn't like was the title.
lalonely 2008-03-14 ch 23,	abusethis was by far my favorite chapter!!
yagiyniguez 2008-02-29 ch 25,	abusei love the story. my fav! :D
s-MAI-le for me 2008-02-27 ch 25,	abuseReally good. I liked this story alot [:
Thamits 2008-02-27 ch 1,	abuseohh! BONG! i love it! im not yet finished though :\| you know naman. school :\| but im around 1/4 in it and i love it! ;)
Cloudsinthesky 2008-01-28 ch 1,	abuseThis was a very good start to a story. Typical teenage but with a not so typical life makes a very interesting plot. Alexandra has some very good characteristics. For example she is very responsible and independent but you can tell that she's still a child by how she acts with her parents. I almost felt bad for her but education is more important. Good job developing this. ~Clouds from reviewers-Found~
claireponcherrii 2008-01-04 ch 1,	abuseOh! I like it!
Gentle. Edge. 2007-12-24 ch 25,	abuseThis was such an awesome story. I loved how you pieced it together, nice job. :)

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