FictionPress.com - let the words flow
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| kloun doll 2008-02-21 ch 1,  | abuseI like the rhyme from the first paragraph, and this too: They crumble faster than this poem’s it's an excellent poem. |
| Yoroy 2008-02-19 ch 1, | abuseinstead of "rapidly decaying lines", i think it should be "rapidly decaying rhyme". It fits betetr, all in all this was a fairly decent, if sporadic poem. It was of some quality mostly unknown on fictionpress. 6/10 |
| Take the Money and Run 2008-02-19 ch 1, | abusei particularly like this poem of yours... a couple things i think you should change, though, he fourh line in the first stanza doesnt flow too well. to keep the same line/idea, the only thing i can think of is to take out "That which is". and i really like the second stanza, but the last line of it needs a couple more syllables for it to flow. "This poem's [insert 3-syllable word here] rhyme." other than those things i really love this. :) |