Share/Save/Bookmark
Home Just In Communities Forums Beta Readers Dictionary Search Login Register Extras
Reviews For: Forever

kloun doll
2008-02-21
ch 1,
abuseI like the rhyme from the first paragraph, and this too: They crumble faster than this poem’s

it's an excellent poem.
Yoroy
2008-02-19
ch 1,
abuseinstead of "rapidly decaying lines", i think it should be "rapidly decaying rhyme". It fits betetr, all in all this was a fairly decent, if sporadic poem. It was of some quality mostly unknown on fictionpress. 6/10
Take the Money and Run
2008-02-19
ch 1,
abusei particularly like this poem of yours... a couple things i think you should change, though, he fourh line in the first stanza doesnt flow too well. to keep the same line/idea, the only thing i can think of is to take out "That which is". and i really like the second stanza, but the last line of it needs a couple more syllables for it to flow. "This poem's [insert 3-syllable word here] rhyme." other than those things i really love this. :)
Return to Top