Please update soon! Really, I like this story.

So far, this is pretty intriguing - for some reason, I think the girl has leukemia or something. If not, I wonder what you're hinting at!

Your grammar is good, so kudos for that. One thing that felt a little off was how quickly you introduced this. One paragraph, you introduce Zane, and the next he just goes over to this new girl. It's a little fast there, but otherwise, good chapter. I'm glad you have more posted!

-Cristina

heya :) sorry i havent managed to review quickly. i've been kind of busy with exams, and packing for a major six-week holiday :) i leave this saturday, lol. i love the update. i hope zanes' mum is ok. LOL! i really loved that bit at the beginning when mitch just yawns and cant be bothered to get up. it is well written overall. one suggestion: just write numbers in the long form. it flows better. for example, '23' as 'twenty three'. apart from that, i dont really know what to say. keep updating and good luck :) i wont be here for 6 weeks, so i wont be able to review, but you have my support :D

tc,

mez

definitely reads better ;) lol, i like Mitchel. he sounds like a really good character with a cheerful personality :)

mez

heya! i loved the update! you better keep updating this, it sounds really interesting. i do have a few suggestions though: first, try to make it more realistic. i dont really think a guy would think of a strange girl immediately as a girlfriend. maybe you should make Zane curious and just want to find out more. dont mention anything about a girlfriend. then maybe you can talk about how their love starts to grow later on in the story. i like the way you introduced mitchell, it was realistic and funny, lol. keep updating and editing! btw, barby is spelt barbie. lol. anyway, great work! UPDATE SOON!

mez

omg! i love it! u have put yourself up for so many oppurtunities, just PLEASE please do NOT make it sad! i cant stand tragic romances, lol. thx for reviewing my story! i really appreciate your feedback. i'm putting this on alert so i can review and keep reading. love it, update soon ;)

mez

Hi! I already told you I love it, but hey! I can say it again, can't I? lol )