 Jesse the Storyteller 2008-04-19 . chapter 1Hmm. Interesting little poem. I like the short, clipped phrases that make up the lines... I don't really understand what you mean by ear noise. I really like this stanza, though... it's the only stanza out of any of them that have something original to say: "Look for myself / In your mad labyrinth / Wandering in / The forest of done"
Although, that's not fair, because "You are the anti-sun" was original as well.
I like the general overall theme of falling for a guy who is so absolutely not worth your time but yet you can't get away even though you KNOW that it's stupid. I think most people have felt this.
-Jesse
Behold the review marathon! (link in profile) |
 Twilight Starr 2007-10-21 . chapter 1Interesting song.
Good luck with songwriting and life.
Have a brilliant day.
~Twilight Starr~ |
 wordsworth in a garbage can 2007-07-12 . chapter 1as a song, it's clever! lots of good phrases strung about. |
 bitterlyysweetchoco 2007-06-21 . chapter 1LOL I felt this way once. This would be a really good song.
I love the third and fifth stanza |
 rira-chan 2007-04-11 . chapter 1i really enjoyed this. good writing!
~rira-chan
P.s thanks for your reveiw |
 Simply Kiwi 2007-03-23 . chapter 1Ah. Falling for someone we really shouldn't. Boy, do I know that well. -sigh-
This was wonderful. It's rare to find a good non-rhyming poem. I know any poem I try to write comes out terrible, unless it rhymes.
-favorites- |
 darkling thrush 2007-03-23 . chapter 1i added this to my favorites! i don't know why, but it really struck me. and i guess kinda hit home, too. "falling for ear noise"--i love that. i know how it is to fall for someone you shouldn't... |