Hmm. Interesting little poem. I like the short, clipped phrases that make up the lines... I don't really understand what you mean by ear noise. I really like this stanza, though... it's the only stanza out of any of them that have something original to say: "Look for myself / In your mad labyrinth / Wandering in / The forest of done"

Although, that's not fair, because "You are the anti-sun" was original as well.

I like the general overall theme of falling for a guy who is so absolutely not worth your time but yet you can't get away even though you KNOW that it's stupid. I think most people have felt this.

-Jesse
Behold the review marathon! (link in profile)

Interesting song.

Good luck with songwriting and life.

Have a brilliant day.

~Twilight Starr~

as a song, it's clever! lots of good phrases strung about.

LOL I felt this way once. This would be a really good song.
I love the third and fifth stanza

i really enjoyed this. good writing!


~rira-chan

P.s thanks for your reveiw

Ah. Falling for someone we really shouldn't. Boy, do I know that well. -sigh-

This was wonderful. It's rare to find a good non-rhyming poem. I know any poem I try to write comes out terrible, unless it rhymes.

-favorites-

i added this to my favorites! i don't know why, but it really struck me. and i guess kinda hit home, too. "falling for ear noise"--i love that. i know how it is to fall for someone you shouldn't...