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| angel953 2008-02-21 ch 1,  | abuseThis is really, really good. I'm serious, this is amzing stuff here. Many people try to rhyme and end up with crap; but with this one you totally scored!! You made the rhyming work really well. That is hard to do. As for the comments that were made by the first reviewer on this piece, I must disagree. Although guns, knives, noted unread, etc. can be considered highly cliche, you did an excellant job usng them in different ways. I think this is a very creative piece that you should be tremendously proud of. ~angel953 |
| Black and White Dreams 2007-03-25 ch 1, | abuseI love the first stanza. Ugh... your writing makes me want to kill myself sometimes, seriously... (that's meant as a compliment =]) You're just that good. ~Black and White Dreams~ |
| Ziren 2007-03-24 ch 1, | abuseWhy does everything you write have to be so emo? Try sticking to Power DVDs and balloons next time or something ... Haha. It's really good though (even if it's on the depressing side). |
| Even Gods Dream 2007-03-24 ch 1, | abuseNice. It flows well and makes perfect sense to me. It's not far from perfect to be fair, which is pretty amazing. You get the idea across well. |
| Colton Keith 2007-03-24 ch 1, | abuseI'm afraid that if I criticize you, you might a) kill/cut yourself or b) react sensitively and whine at me for being honest, but nonetheless I will go forth, daringly and unabashedly! Some of this isn't particularly horrible, but it's not particularly good in any way whatsoever. The whole "emo" genre is simply uninspired and you've done nothing to make it original. The mention of "unread suicide notes," "knives" and "guns" are all glaring clichés. Apart from that, your grammar is in need of work. The moment you wrote "Cuz" was the moment I wrote your poem off. In addition, "ain't" is spelled with an apostrophe between the 'n' and 't.' Overall, the sound is patchy in places and decent in others. I know you meant to achieve rhyming, but it comes off as hopelessly clunky. |