FictionPress.com - let the words flow
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| HelpWanted11 2008-02-22 ch 1,   | W0W, Bob the hardcore metal junkie has a sweet, soft, sentimental side. I really loved this poem, I can't actually explain why. It was simple, yet so passionate. Keep writing, HelpWanted11 |
| felicia13 2007-03-31 ch 1, | Really, Bob. You can do better than this. There's a lot of repetition in this one, too. And it's not the good kind, either. When repeating things, remember that (in poetry) less is more. We got that you think you love her in the first line. No need to say it again and again. It'd be hard to take yourself out of this one, but try to expand on the idea of watching her without her actually knowing that you're there. It's good and stalkerish and romantic in a weird way. Use it! Felicia. |
| WyrdWolf 2007-03-27 ch 1, | I kind of feel this was a bit too concise, but at the same time the emotion portrayal was very good. I like the last part: But when it comes to you, I cant,/Half the time you don’t even notice,/The other half,/You look back Wolfie |
| Linda 2007-03-26 ch 1, | I love the poem, I think it is beautiful. Keep up the great work, I would love to see more like this. |