i like this.
it's really raw
which is both good and bad
but i mostly like to think of it as good. :)
respects, -ty

I really like your stuff. It's concise, but it doesn't have that fuzzy edge that a lot of similarly topiced (I know that's a wierd phrase) stuff has.

THIS IS AN ABOMINATION OF GOD! Actually I'm adding it to my favorites... Or am I?...

this has something really special about it, but i feel it's missing something. i am not fond of the line: "We didn’t ‘make love,’ or ‘**,’". i think it could be beautiful if it were more subtle. nice job.