Reviews for Krystal Ghost - FictionPress.com

Reviews For: Krystal Ghost - Reviews: Page 1 of 2

queenehlana 2008-08-13 ch 2,	This is AWESOME!! Ken's a wolf thing, Eveon does martial arts and Keith's a fighter!! So cool!! I HAVE to favorite this!!
artemiswolf99 2007-12-15 ch 3,	well..the uh "pervert" scene was.. interesting >.> and the last chapter reminded me of Soul Calibur, good times ^^. The last chapters were confusing but i'm starting to follow your story, it's getting interesting! Haha, you named that guy Ken..like the barbie..wow... i wonder who the 'third' interesting person will be.. maybe chey...uh.. you know you... in an albino pygmy shrew costume! heck yas.
artemiswolf99 2007-12-09 ch 2,	GRAMMAR ERRORS FOR THIS CHAPTER, I DO THIS BECAUSE I CARE! 1.) “Looks like are two new students have arrived. Your seats are in the front row. ..are should be 'our'
The Rock 2007-12-05 ch 1,	we are blocking your story due to the fact that it is innapropriate for a school setting. thank you for trying to understand our point of our viewing. farewell
The Bosotn Review 2007-12-05 ch 39,	klnafsdjkbguiewsdfjknsnfweuio
xoxstorii-gurrlxox 2007-07-28 ch 8,	Haha. These last 8 chapters were really good. Funny too.
Alexander Weaton 2007-07-20 ch 30,	Okay...a)half demon, half angel b)Krystal c)not quite sure d)maybe Seth from the story? e)no more crazy than me, which isn't saying much.
Darkness Rekindled 2007-07-20 ch 29,	Yay for new chapters! Still enjoying the story, can’t wait to find out what is going to happen with the whole Miel/Dark problem! You mentioned that you are thinking of upping the rating on your story after this chapter, I really didn’t find it all that offensive, but that’s just my personal opinion. As for the rating, it’s kinda hard to distinguish between mild adult themes and strong adult themes since it can really vary from person to person. Even so, I’d say that this story is already really close to an M rating for violence when compared to the description fictionpress uses, so changing the rating would probably be a good idea. However, it’s still borderline, so if you don’t want to, you can probably get away with a T. Now for the character poll. I had to go back and read through the story again, but I think I’ve got my favorites. My second most favorite female character was a tie: Eveon, mainly for her attitude and the fact that she’s practically invincible. Also, she has that touch of naïveté that makes her a very adorable character. I also really like Miel, but that’s probably ‘cause I’m a sucker for romance. But after going back through the story I think I’m going to put in a vote for the crazy psychotic woman who’s trying to take over Eveon’s body. Let’s be honest, split personalities are awesome, and even more so when the alternate personality ends up completely messing with the character’s life. I guess that probably makes me a horrible person. Oh well. For second most favorite male character I’m going with Keith. I think he would be my favorite if I didn’t feel like his age doesn’t match up with his personality/history at some points. Again, that’s just my personal opinion. Favorite male character is Ceren hands down. I think he’s the only character that has made me laugh constantly through the story. Plus, as the story goes on he seems to be revealing a tender side rather than just the perverted aspect. Not that I don’t find the perverted Ceren to be very funny at times, but I really like how you rounded out his character as the story went on and gave him a broader personality.
Alexander Weaton 2007-07-20 ch 29,	Okay...the tub scene was...awkward. Although I would've had a similar reaction if I was in Ceren's place, please don't do that again. Since I'm typing this, I'll answer the poll here as well instead of PMing it to you. My favorite female characters are Haruko, because she is the only 'normal' one in the whole freaking story and DSK because she is so cute in a strange, ADHD way. Favorite male character is a tie between Keith and Creepy Stalker Narrator, because the Stalker is so strange and so all-knowing, and I can relate to Keith. Quiet, appears stoic, and is terribly awkward around women. The bedroom part wasn't THAT bad. But Creepy Stalker Narrator stroking Eveon's sleeping head should be avoided unless she is awake for part of it.
Darkness Rekindled 2007-07-18 ch 27,	Wow, this story deserves way more recognition than it is getting. Very well written, funny, definitely an interesting storyline. Not the typical style of writing one usually finds on this site, reads more like an anime plot than anything else. The first few chapters could definitely be a little more polished, but I think you already knew that. Another thing I was having serious trouble following was the characters' thoughts. Towards the beginning there was no distinction between normal text and thoughts, later it looks like you started occassionally using quotation marks to distinguish thinking, but that was easy to confuse with character speech. I find a story flows better if speech, thoughts, and normal text are clearly distinguished. My personal favorite is italices or single quote marks, but that's just me. I love the changing points of view, it makes the story a little confusing at parts, especially when the line breaks aren't there, but it is totally worth it to have so many perspectives from different sides of the plot. But please, keep writing! Just my luck that I started reading exactly when you got to the part when they finally rescue Dark. So excited! Keep updating!
Alexander Weaton 2007-07-17 ch 27,	Wow...okay, I can see what you meant about changing the rating from T to M. If this is just a one-time thing, plus the sexual moment you mentioned earlier, I think the rest of the story is 'mild' enough to be considered 'T'. But I will suggest you change the rating if scenes like this begin to come common in the story.
J. A. Kossler 2007-07-17 ch 1,	Hm... I'm not sure what to think about that opening part. On one hand, it's engaging, which is good. On another hand, I'm not really sure who the "you" is. If you're talking to the reader... that's bad prose. It might spark a revolution in prose writing, but it must be done delicately. A quick scan of your manuscript shows you use it once more... Given that you only use it twice, I'd suggest axing that prose and putting something third person in there. Instead of "Her features were not very visible, but you could tell she was in pain." You could put, "Darkness obscured her features, but it was clear she was in pain." Though that might not be very good prose, either... second part is a little longer than it should be, but my mind is a little muddled and I can't think of a powerful verb to lend to it. O_o - JAK (Please check out my story! :D )
Alexander Weaton 2007-07-17 ch 26,	It's not too bad, since they haven't actually done anything 'explicit', but I'll wait until I read those later chapters you mentioned before I suggest a rating change. Also, about your Author's note a few chapters back on liking Yuri anime...YOU THINK YOU'VE GOT IT BAD?! I'm a straight guy who is Editor in Chief of the shcool newspaper (Yes, I'm also still in high school), and for some reason everyone thinks I'm gay! I have no idea why, and random guys hit on me in hopes that I'll put their article in the paper. Just be glad you don't have to put up with the emotional trauma that causes.
Alexander Weaton 2007-07-16 ch 23,	WHY?!?!?!?! Why the Metal Buckets? Why?!?!
Alexander Weaton 2007-07-05 ch 1,	Hm...I like this. The description got me interested and the first chapter got me hooked. Good job.

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