I owe you a huge apology for taking so long to review...

Clean chapter, although I think the cliffhanger at the end loses its potential because we've already known that foul play was involved ever since the beginning of the story.

On the other hand, I'm still hooked. Disregard the fact that I only review once a year...

The salvation message seemed a little out of place, but it's cool that you were able to fit it in there. I like where the story's going too...

Just gotta let you know, I LOVE this story. It's undeniably awesome.

'Nuff said.

"The woman had claws hidden underneath those pristine, perfect fingernails of hers, and he was pretty sure he’d seen them the night before." - nice wording + imagery

"...to go this morning and straighten things up..." - could just be me, but I think "out" would be a better preposition to use

This chapter felt a little slower, but I like the regular length you're maintaining - it makes everything very streamlined.

Excellent writing. My only complaints are the huge paragraphs, which make reading somewhat of a tedious process. Wading through the text detracts from what is otherwise a superb read.

Very few typographical errors also. Keep it up, girl.

Apparently my parents live at the manor: "There were two other married couples, the Carlton’s..."

ha ha

"...more or less a place for people inconvenienced by their past..." - nice wording. Very humanistic philosophy.

Great chapter. Apologies for the spasmodic reviews - I never have time to sit and read more than one chapter at a time.

God bless.

Another great chapter. There were some grammatical errors in the text to check out, but not so many as to be detrimental to the story. Also, the transition between Jesse and Hannah's perspectives was not indicated, which made the progression a little confusing.

This is some really good work - as usual.

Keep it up!

"Her statement, spoken so incredibly calmly, hit him like a literal blow." - unnecessary adjectives; incredibly and literal are somewhat redundant.

Other than that, no complaints from me. You have this amazing way of making a lot happen even in short chapters. The plot of the story doesn't suffer for it either: nice progression.

"Ken" ~ Justin

Forgive me for being dense (if I am), but aren't Nichole and Jesse siblings? Or are they step-siblings? Just to clear that up... I probably just missed something somewhere.

"She could tell he’d been tense, but her muscles still ached from the stiffness of being clenched all afternoon and evening." - I'm not sure this sentence quite makes sense. At any rate, wouldn't she be more sore from the accident than
tension? Just a thought.

"Eaden Hall was meant specifically for people like Adam and Deirdre. People with stories, histories, and secrets… skeletons in their closets, ones that they wouldn’t dare tell anybody; they all had things they were ashamed of, but yet had been forgiven for." - this paragraph is really well-worded except for the last clause: did you intend to say "...things they were ashamed of, things they had yet to be forgiven" or "things they were ashamed of, even though they had been forgiven"?

"Hannah smiled slightly, without her teeth, and nodded again." - nice wording.

The chapter seemed like it ended abruptly, but that's not really an issue. I especially like how you're tying the two stories together now - without really cinching the knot. Excellent prose.

Keep it up - as always
"Ken" ~ Justin

Awkward relationship we have here... I'm assuming (hoping) that details will be revealed as we progress.

The car accident was a little over-detailed; it felt over-wrought, since I immediately got the mental image of the scene.
On top of that, these two sentences [in context] bothered me: "He ran as fast as he could toward the sounds of damage not far away. He squinted into the sun, and from what he could see—and hear—the impact had caused damage."

Other than that, no complaints from moi. Nice work as always.

"Ken" ~ Justin

Your chapters are a perfect length - long enough for a lot to happen, but not dragging (a problem I've always suffered from). The action is great, and the story's compelling. I'm still looking for the connection to the prologue, though... Maybe it will become apparent a little later on.

Keep it up
"Ken" ~ Justin

Excellent as always. I have no complaints.

I could literally feel Claire's frustration - that's something that really struck me. I'm not sure exactly how you managed to translate that emotion, but it was great.

Keep writing.
"Ken"

Yeah, women don't like me either... lol

This chapter seemed like it could have been part of the last, just to keep the action from stuttering, but that's the only complaint I have. I can't express how amazed I am - you are an astoundingly great author! I'm not quite sure how you could come up with such high praise for my mediochre works when you've written stuff like this. lol

As always, keep writing.
Justin ~ "Ken"

Great work - you've really captured my interest. The characters are great and extremely realistic - I especially like this new addition, Jesse.

Keep it up!
"Ken"

Again, this is simply great writing. I stand humbled. lol

"Ken"