FictionPress.com - let the words flow
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| Nemonus 2007-04-04 ch 1,   | I like the first two lines a lot--that's how it feels, SATs or the beginning of the college experience. Very good. After that it fets a little silly, and the "but to take the world..." breaks the rhythm a tad, but most of my critique would be personal to me if I continued so I'll say you have a good skill for expressing that emotion in the beginning. |