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| LeoOsaka 2007-03-30 ch 1, | abuseI don't know how you are about commenting on the writing and telling you any mistakes, so I'll refrain from doing that, since I don't know how you would take it. This poem makes sense, touches on human emotions a great deal. You seem to stress a rhyme scheme a little too hard and it throws off the rhythm a bit, but over all it looks good and you've got a solid subject too! Keep writing! |
| Heihana 2007-03-30 ch 1, | abuseThis is pretty cool. I like it. |