Reviews for Theft of Angelic Flight

felicia13
2007-04-05
ch 1,

"I walk alone / I walk alone with nobody beside me" This is needless repetition. We already know you're alone. So, obviously, no one could be beside you. One line or the other, Bob.

Throughout, there is a lot of repetition that I don't like. With the walking and the clipped wings. It's a good idea, but it gets lost in you trying to make it into a 'real' poem. Poetry doesn't require a lot of repetition to make it good. In fact, repeating things over and over just make a reader want to stop and go find something else to enjoy. Try to wrote something without using 'I' or 'you.' It's surprisingly refreshing and forces you to use more descriptions because you can't just throw emotions out of nowhere when you aren't talking about yourself. Really. It's a good exercise, especially if you want to be a better writer.

Felicia.

WyrdWolf
2007-03-30
ch 1,

Hm...kinda dark. Good descriptions, though; good imagery. Well, that's kinda the wrong word, but something--I could see it, but it wasn't, like, in-depth description...oh, hell, now I'm rambling. Don't ask.

Wolfie

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