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| TalesOfOld 2007-03-30 ch 1,   | Wow, a short but excellent piece! You do an excellent job of letting us inside Drake's head, and I really liked the rain symbolism. The single syllable thing is a little annoying, but it was the assignment so not a problem. Although I'm curious, what skill was your teacher trying to help you build? One thing I just wanted to point out. Through the entire story we're following Drake and "looking over his shoulder". Then in the 4th to last line, you say that something is echoing in Krys's ears -something that only she would know- and then we're back to Drake. It's a little confusing and I thought at first that SHE was thinking that he would go away because she didn't want him. Keep writing, you're doing an excellent job! Tales |
| Auraya 2007-03-30 ch 1, | Amazing "and then the rain did stop" beautiful you can really connect with how the character's feeling thanku |