This is a great idea...

I can imagine is being true for people too :(

I don't quite get the meaning of this, its sort of ambiguous.

It seems like it's simply prose with random line breaks. As a poem, it's not that good. As prose, it has merit. Edit it a bit, take out unnecessary words, and as a poem it would be rather good too.

Wow, thats good. I liked it.

I liked it, you portrayed your feelings well.

It's in need of some review punctuation-wise, which would then clear up some of the choppiness.

Also, you could condense some of the lines into shorter, more witty, phrases.

Overall, good job. I love the premise.

-Dev.