|
|
| Home Just In Communities Forums Beta Readers Dictionary Search | Login Register Extras |
| PrincessPeaches 2008-03-02 ch 1, | abuseThis is a great idea... I can imagine is being true for people too :( |
| Unready 2007-06-30 ch 1, | abuseI don't quite get the meaning of this, its sort of ambiguous. |
| fusillade 2007-04-14 ch 1, | abuseIt seems like it's simply prose with random line breaks. As a poem, it's not that good. As prose, it has merit. Edit it a bit, take out unnecessary words, and as a poem it would be rather good too. |
| JesykaStoryTeller 2007-03-31 ch 1, | abuseWow, thats good. I liked it. |
| effervescent-sentiments 2007-03-31 ch 1, | abuseI liked it, you portrayed your feelings well. It's in need of some review punctuation-wise, which would then clear up some of the choppiness. Also, you could condense some of the lines into shorter, more witty, phrases. Overall, good job. I love the premise. -Dev. |