I like the beginning of the piece. It shows a lot about Kian in that he easily becomes nervous.

However for now I want to talk about the end scene, my personal favourite part of this piece.

I like that Erick is not direct that he is asking Kian on a date, but not completely indirect either. Kian's pondering for a few seconds is also quite a nice device, as having him unsure allows the reader inside his mind and for him to seem somewhat real.

Cuuuuutteee!

This was awesome, really. I really appreciate these cute, K- to T-rated stories that aren't too decadent, wild or illogical for me to lose my appetite (or morals). This was sweet and just the right length. Thank you!

Is there more...? There has to be more. You left a cliffhanger. Overall, though, it was a nice read.

Loved the story, love the way you write. :) And I absolutely love the water-cooler scene, it was hilarious. The story is really realistic and it has a calm feeling to it. At the same time it's detailed enough for the reader to see everything in his/her mind it still leaves room for your own imagination. You also ended it in a way that it did not seem unfinished, which many authors have a big problem with when they stop at that type of place in a story. Good work!

Lol water cooler talk!

Love the storyline xD

Aw, this has to be one of the sweetest stories I have read on here. There wasn't any real action in this but I love the cuteness and how flirtatious this turned out to be. A 10 out of a 10

Wow! This story is very well written. I like the style of writing; it is down to earth and realistic. I enjoyed reading this chapter. The syntax and formatting are great. I didn't find any spelling or punctuation errors. If the proceeding chapters are written as well as this one, I think this story would make an excellent television series along the lines of "Sex and the City" for instance. I look forward to reading more.

P.S. Will you critique my story, "Jump to It"? I would love to have your "expert" opinion. :)

That was so sweet. And we know that they get together as they are mentioned in another story.

I love how subtle it is :D

very very cute! i liked it a lot, along with your writing style which is very smooth and easy to read. luvs it.

Oh, dear Lord! That was spectacular.

Your writing is seriously superb.

It's so nice to read and understandable,

with near-perfect grammar and punctuation.

And the story line? My goodness, the story line.

What a wonderful view of their friendship.

And the dialogue was always a blast to read.

Wow, this story was simply amazing.

Great job.

I love this. :)

-Dana.

Aha! I knew I'd find the one that had Kian and Erick in it! XD It was sweetly adorable.

Aw, cute. ;)

You know you could make this a longer story *hinthint*. Even so I like it how it is, I am particularly fond of the characters. Good Job!

_ phangirl _