FictionPress.com - let the words flow
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| The Un-great-ful 2007-03-31 ch 1,  | abuseNot bad, but might I give you some advice? Usually in poetry if you use a word too many times, it lessens the piece; you used 'whisper' far too often and there are other words, lovely words you could use in its place, like 'susurrus'. You've a nice style, it would be improved a great deal if you used more of the language available to you. Keep writing, Alan. |