Reviews for Lose Your Illusions

Reviews For: Lose Your Illusions

iron-guardian 2007-04-16 ch 8,	No! She can't commit suicide! That would be way too sad! How could you! This is extremely sad and utterly exciting. The tears are indeed flowing freely. Poor child. Next chapter please.
iron-guardian 2007-04-16 ch 7,	That is so sad. This would be an excellent story to teach kids about the dangers of internet peados on chat rooms.
iron-guardian 2007-04-16 ch 6,	OH MY GOD! That is sick! So he was a peado! wow. Ur style of writing is enticing. The words flow extremely well. This truly is The best story i have ever read on this site.
iron-guardian 2007-04-16 ch 5,	o! I knew it he's back! I wonder wot Johnny will look like! I feel so bad for her. I don't really i think it serves her rite for being such an idiot. Wow ur story is really making me feel agressive to the stupidity of gullible kids. Send this to a publisher, they'll definitly publish it, to good to go to waste!
iron-guardian 2007-04-16 ch 4,	Yeah he's gone! I love the way your gradually building up to a grand plot. Sumhow i don't think thats the end we've heard of Johnny...
iron-guardian 2007-04-16 ch 3,	What can i say, another enticing chapter. I'm on the verge of tears, i want to save our innocence but nevertheless the anticipation is driving me crazy.
iron-guardian 2007-04-16 ch 2,	I'm amazed. It so realistic they way you capture the naievety of a little girl and so true in real life. He can almost feel her innoncence about to be tainted.
iron-guardian 2007-04-16 ch 1,	I am already engrossed by this first chapter. The subtle development of the character's feelings, the reality of these types of situations captured in all its intensity. I am anticipating the next chapter anxiously.
lygophobic lullabies 2007-04-07 ch 8,	That is so sad, it made me think about how it's bad enough what some people do, but even past that, it can spiral and make even worse things happen. I really think your story will make people think twice about chatting.
Inkspilled 2007-03-31 ch 3,	Yeah, the paragraphs are a little big and could be broken up a bit. Maybe put some of them together as one chapeter because some of them are short. It's alot of emotion too, I kinda don't know how they met and etc. other than it's through the internet, I think. :P Anyways, I liked reading it and seeing what it's like for a character like this. I'm also glad that she isn't a Mary Sue. :)
lygophobic lullabies 2007-03-31 ch 3,	This is pretty creepy, throwing your life away on some guy you don't even know...
CitizenOfZozo 2007-03-31 ch 3,	You captured the character and those general feelings well. It's easy to sort of frown and smile ironically at the same time while reading this. So very true. Break up your paragraphs a little more, a big block of text like that is difficult to read. Also, I would recommend moving the story along soon. You've laid down a good foundation in this beginning, but it can quickly get tiresome without anything changing. This would be a good time to start showing the truth of Johnny's intentions.

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