FictionPress.com - let the words flow
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| Michael l'oeil fol 2007-12-20 ch 1,  | abusethough to me there is little more tragic than electric buds crashing on a moon-dark sky i of course still enjoyed your work. its odd where inspiration comes from. loved your last four lines here. i find your scientifically inspired musing to be odd yet beautiful. the two realms shouldnt ever exist together...yet you manage nicely. Good stuff. Michael By the way...time for my shameless plug...have two new ones up ;) |
| Anya Mabell 2007-10-11 ch 1, | abuseI really enjoyed reading this, I thought it was fantastic. Your writing really draws the reader in. I can't wait to go and read more :] |
| Torn Silver Moon 2007-04-06 ch 1, | abuseYay, it's amazing what you can come up with in science class while I secretley eat your peanut bars that come out of your magical pocket. Wonderful job, old chap, keep up the splended work, pip pip! |
| Hidden Sword of Truth 2007-04-02 ch 1, | abuseGreat Job! I am going to add this to my favs! God Bless! (TSP) |
| dancers 2007-04-02 ch 1, | abuseGorgeous. Simplistically gorgeous. Love the description. ~li |
| life on rewind 2007-04-01 ch 1, | abuseThis is a very good poem ... you must have been very talented to come up with it in Science. I find I sleep through my science classes xP The image it brings to mind is awesome, and you use a great choice of words. However, when you use the lines: "To the upswept current, the battery A battery of wind on a kettledrum." I don't think you need to use "battery" twice. Thank you for posting this awesome poem! Keep writing, you're going to get better the more you practise =) |
| Nirnaeth Arnoediad 2007-04-01 ch 1, | abuseI love your poem; the imagery is amazing, especially in the first and last parts. The only suggestion I can give is that one of the lines in the middle is a little bit akward: Wire spiralled out of a top fires across I think it's the lack of an article in front of wire, though it may be that I just don't understand what you're trying to do with it. Other than that rather nit-picky piece of criticism, I can only say that it's a great poem. |