FictionPress.com - let the words flow
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| hime1221 2007-09-15 ch 1,   | Wow! You've got alot of potential! I can see it! Great work; u can definetly go far! Now as to constructive crit...which I dnt normally take the time to offer...in the beginning paragraphs there is alot of deviance from the main topic, in terms of description and metaphorical stuff. It sort of confused me a bit, but everything was soon back on track and going full steam ahead. Again, a wonderful job! ~hime |