FictionPress.com - let the words flow
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| Nirnaeth Arnoediad 2007-04-03 ch 1,   | Just...wow. I don't really know where to start other than to say it was really good. I especially liked the flip between i am everything/you are nothing and you are everywhere/I am nowhere. The only thing I can suggest is that in the lines in my stares in my shower in my pants in my eyelids the list doesn't flow as well as the previous ones. I think it's the difference in the numbers of syllables, and that pants is a much harsher-sounding word than the others, which is a little jarring. A little random, I know, but it was the only thing that didn't seem to flow. All in all, a wonderful poem. |