FictionPress.com - let the words flow
| FictionPress.com - let the words flow |
|
| Home Just In Communities Forums Beta Readers Dictionary Search | Login Register Extras |
| T.L. Houlin 2007-07-16 ch 6,  | abuseHey! I bet you thought I reviewed your story for a return review and then ditched it. Haha...you're not getting rid of me that easy. Work's been a beating, and I'm finally scraping together the time to do some reading and writing. I only noticed a couple of minor grammatical and spelling errors...I think in chapter four, you used "to" instead of "too", and I saw a comma splice at the beginning of this chapter. I'm afraid that's the best I can do as far as constructive criticism...I've got a decent handle on grammar, spelling, and all that good stuff, but I'm still working on the whole storytelling, character development, etc. part of writing. All the same, I'm really enjoying this...it's getting harder and harder to find good reads on this site. Keep up the good work. |
| T.L. Houlin 2007-05-18 ch 3, | abuseNot bad at all...the video game geek in me is really enjoying this. haha. Usually I have at least one bit of criticism for something, but I can't really come up with anything right now. Kudos. |
| T.L. Houlin 2007-05-18 ch 1, | abuseNot bad at all...I'm impressed that you're writing this in the present tense and you haven't slipped out of it that I can notice. Congrats. The only thing I noticed was when Ignatio told Cadmus to "belay" his trip...I'm not positive, but doesn't belay have something to do with making something secure with a rope? Might be that it has a different meaning in military situations...I'm just used to hearing it in a different context...I used to work at a daycamp. Anyway, I'm hooked thus far...I'm off to read the next two chapters. |