I can not read any more since i am out of time i got up to the part 'Vego' but so far what i have read of it i thought it is awsome, i can't wait till i get time to read it. word of advise though u know how you have little sections in the one chapter i would put those little sections as diffrent chapters but thats a suggestion you don't have to change it casue it will still be awsome it will just make it easeier for the reader. but yeah as i said it was awsome and yes it will deffenatly go into my C2

dis story seems pretty interesting... 4 updates on my story check my profile

very good story... though its pretty confusing but ya, very good

On the whole, this story isn't bad. You have a nice descriptive style and the story is dark and interesting. There were a number of technical errors and other things that really disrupted the flow of the story, however.

For starters, the narration in the first part of the story is really too mature for the character. It seems awkward to use such a descriptive, well-spoken voice for a character who's nine years old. Incidentally, you referred to him once as ten, which was also confusing. I did like the way it was written, it just didn't seem appropriate. You might consider changing it to third person perspective to retain what really was fairly strong writing while keeping Aniro believable as a child.

Near the beginning you write, "I shuddered at the word death..." yet 'death' was not mentioned in the statement to which he's reacting.

You really need to understand the difference between 'there,' 'their,' and 'they're.' Not often was your usage of those words correct.

"**" was a really awkward word choice, if in the context I gathered it was. It's both anachronistic and insulting. Also, as this would appear to be a fantasy world entirely separate from our own, no character would have an "Arabian" accent. Describe it some other way or leave it at accented and let readers draw their own conclusions. You have the turban; that's obvious enough.

"POV Swith" is an awkward way to do so. Try just using an extra line break - or, as Fictionpress won't allow those, a separator - or just title that section "Vego" so as not to confuse readers. Your perspective also changes from first to third person in that section randomly. You always want consistency in your point of view.

All that said, this story does have potential. You have a strong sense for prose and for setting a scene down and if you work on those errors, you could end up with something pretty good.