FictionPress.com - let the words flow
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| DarkBlysse 2007-05-30 ch 1,   | First off, the rhyming's done very well. Good job on that. "But I’ve made a deal With myself, you see"--I love this part. They're so...unique. I get a feeling of depression and acceptance of that very emotion from these lines. "Or when I’m forced to say goodbye"--I don't like the 'when' in that line. If you take it out, it'll flow much better and have no ill-effects on the line itself. |
| VanillaOreo 2007-04-04 ch 1, | Oh this is so sad. And I love it. Wonderful job! :) |