Reviews for Borne on Silver Wings

Reviews For: Borne on Silver Wings

IanOsmond 2007-06-18 ch 1,	A very exciting start to your story here. It definitly pulls the readerin. Its very visual and looks like a very neat fantasy world is being set up.
A-wolf-called-Skya 2007-04-12 ch 1,	hey! finally had a chance to review! I thought this was written a lot better than your previous versions. no surprise, really. experience. I just had on or two questions: 1. what is the CO? a SF or a human? i just would find it quite hard for an SF to grip a sword handle xD 2. I'm assuming the captain is an SF, right? haha, gotta love my powers of observation. I'll try to keep reading! i'm probably going to be choked off reading, now that i'm going to finally start rewriting DS to glory. -sigh- Good writing, -Rachel.
Marinus 2007-04-07 ch 1,	It's a very good start, Arrow, highly intriguing. And knowing a chunk of the story from you, looks set to remain interesting. Just a few suggestions. If you don't mind me making them, I'll give more. When you're describing the CO, perhaps go for a more flowing description of him; when describing his hair, try for something like 'whose black hair was greying at the temples.' It flows better than what you've got. '...white sails looked so pure everyone...' Needs a semicolon after 'pure' '25,0 out of an island with a population exceeding four million.' Here, it might make more of an impact if you wrote the number out in full. 'Still, others simply wept...' Doesn't need as comma here. When you're describing the Timefrost missile attack, perhaps go for a more reflective approach instead of a stating-the-facts one. '...people’s lungs and asphyxiating people death' Doesn't make sense. Perhaps 'It stopped people's lungs, and people died, choking for want of air to breathe, lungs turned to iron, their faces twisted in pain.' Something like that. '...their blood from flowing' Again, doesn't make sense. '...ship in half as half was frozen in time and the other half wasn’t' Forgive me for saying it, but this sounds cumbersome. Describe what happens to the ships when this happens, instead. 'flying fortress, called the SFWS Skywind...' you don't need the 'called the' here. Still, a superb start, Arrow. Keep writing.
almostthegoldenchild 2007-04-05 ch 1,	very good. I loved how you described the effect of the time freezing. I hope there are more chapters to come.
Cookie Jar 2007-04-04 ch 1,	Fairly good but seeing as you're too delicate for flames I can't say much more.
Dracozombie 2007-04-04 ch 1,	Hmm, sounds interesting so far. I like it a lot better than the previous version, mostly due to the obvious magic/science crossover. I'm more of a fan of fantasy than sci-fi. Good +Decent details. +I could detect little to no grammatical errors. Bad -Far too short, at least for my taste in fics. Don't feel discouraged if no one reads it, at least you'll have one loyal reader. ^.~ -DZ

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