Reviews for Black and White - FictionPress.com

Reviews For: Black and White

Anonymous 2008-11-14 ch 1,	Pretty good first chapter. Characters' personalities well introduced and consistent language.
Luny Loona 2007-10-09 ch 1,	Wow, you're fast at fixing the full stop. I won't say anything about the other stuff, except you might want to make your spelling of 'mum/mom' uniform. Great start so far! It's too long for my liking but then it was interesting. Anyway, get over your writer's block soon.
xEmoMuffinx 2007-10-09 ch 1,	whee. Ahem. A bit of an informal start to the review, but anyway. So. Joshua ... Anyway. OBVIOUSLY there aren't grammatical errors, it's YOU! But anyway, let me scan the thing once more, just to check, while my eyes slip unknowingly over the few words of coarse language. :) Not that I can find any errors, but I'm not bothered anyway. The chapter is a bit long, but that's not a problem if the story is hooking. I'm not really into teenage stuff like this, so I can't really offer an authentic opinion. Meanwhile, thanks so much for the review!
brokendreams21 2007-09-14 ch 1,	I like the little bit of the foreshadowing at the beginning of the story to catch the reader's attention. I applaud your vocabulary choices and the accuracy of your descriptions. Although this story started off a little bit cliched with the typical high school characters and such, the story line really caught my attention. The only thing I would ask for from this story is further character development so that they seem a bit more three-dimensional and to add some more depth to the story. Other than that, you did a great job. I hope you add to this story soon. =] Katherine
wecouldgoandget40s 2007-04-24 ch 1,	Nice start! Your introduction really pulls the reader deep into further reading your story. Good job!
Ineffability 2007-04-24 ch 1,	I really liked this. It kind of seems, though, that your narrator is a bit too relaxed. He reacts strongly to certain things, that's plain to see. Though when actually telling of them, he's still casual. It reminds me of when people talk, saying things such as "And he was like 'I can't believe it!'" You say you want it to be more realistic, and you've definitely got that. However, it still does seem a bit too casual for some of the things the narrator has expressed. I'd also argue with a bit of your word choice, but that's soley personal preference. You've got a great set up for the rest of the story. It lays out the general idea of what's going to happen, or at least leads people to assume, yet leaves paths wide open for wonder. It's well written, though maybe a bit too choppy, and a little too non-descript, but still good. I have no further complaints, and I can say I will be awaiting the next chapter. Your characters are attractive, very appealing. I want to see what you've got planned for them.
Rooftops 2007-04-14 ch 1,	I'm enjoying the story and would love to see an update. is it going to be slash even better if so !) Have added to Alerts.
KittenzAndTheeGlitz 2007-04-05 ch 1,	Aww, this is nice. Looking forward to whatever direction it's taking in. Josh is already sort of endearing, haha.
foreverxtwilight 2007-04-05 ch 1,	I like this so far. Lee is quite the character. Looking forward to your next update!
cygnets and skies 2007-04-05 ch 1,	Great start! I like the sound of Zanna and Josh's mum... Lee seems really awful and arrogant. XD.

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