FictionPress.com - let the words flow
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| Nirnaeth Arnoediad 2007-04-05 ch 1,   | Really nice; I especially like the lines 'But warmth does fade to clear the dark of night/The moon at times the dark it does outshine.' One thing I noticed though, is that the last line doesn't really make all that much sense; you're saying the descriptor is the subject instead of vice-versa, if that makes any sense. I can see how you might have done it to get the rhyme, but it makes the sentence feel kind of funny. In any case, I enjoyed reading it. |