FictionPress.com - let the words flow
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| Xavier Ewald 2008-11-30 ch 13,   | i especially enjoyed poem 13. are the two themes connected in some way? your friend, who envies the boy who wears glasses, and your soul? p.s. - i don't think our souls exist. |
| Olive Oliver 2008-11-08 ch 15, | The phrase "red of cheeks burnt by the wind./Pens rip through paper and patience grows thin," seems almost to rhyme, which does not fit very cohesively with the rest of the poem. I also don't see how fluorescent lights have anything to do with the fact that colder weather is coming. A different title would be prefered. |
| Emily Brooke 2008-08-08 ch 13, | Hey there! I think that your poems are very good. This last one is strange, I must say, but I do really like it. I love the way you talk about shaping the clay and proving that you (or the speaker) is brave. =) Good job! |
| jack0of0spades 2007-10-13 ch 10, | These are good! I admit, "wine" and "Effects of Living" didn't quite hit me like the others, although the latter I think is just a little too raw, a little editing for clarity could bring out that energy you're going for. But I loved "Thursday Morning" and "Glasses"! You have a talent for conveying great power with only a few words. The only constructive criticism I can really find to give you, though, is in one of your older poems, "Death of an Artist". The word 'yearns' just... doesn't seem right. There's got to be a more powerful word that fits there, that one kinda breaks the power of the poem I think. Anyway, now I have to go read your other works! I like your style. -jack |
| midnighteyes-xo 2007-07-12 ch 5, | Too lazy to sign in, But. I love this . |
| burning in effigy 2007-04-05 ch 2, | nice imagery; love the second line and the title short and simple but i like the conciseness of the poem great job :) |