That was very good. And very strange.

I'm not sure I liked some of the descriptions of Nathaniel, because you made him sound more like a thing than a human...but it was very sweet, in the end.

loved it, fantastic descriptions, every single sentence. But I'll have to reread it to understand everything. Anyways this goes right to my favorites.

a bit confusing but i like your writing style

To be honest, I don't understand what is going on. Well, not completely. Why was he moody, what was going on with her inner turmoil, what was the reason(s) behind it? I'm guessing he's her lover?

This is very artsy, I like it, even though I don't understand a fair bit of it. I really like its uniqueness. And for that reason, I'm favouriting this.

Thank you for such an interesting one-shot. ^_^

gulistanlik

ah, I love it. Love written in the language of art. My kind of thing.

I loved the artistry of this short story. It made me want to know the characters and it made me really feel like I did, even in such a short space. The length was perfect for this style, too. It gave just enough. The descriptions were fantastic.

Amazing. I loved the ending and especially this line;

'He wiped his pink mouth. Picasso'

She seems quite insecure, when she thinks he doesn't love her, and then he kisses her and all.

Oh, well. I loved it. :D

I liked it, but I'm not sure I understand. Is she just being weird, does he not love her anymore, what is easier this time? maybe I'm just not insightful enough.

I liked the bit when she thought that Nathaniel didn't love her anymore, immediately followed by him calmly peeling the orange. Nice. :)

wow...beautiful. i ADORE the description of him, so amazing. this is so well-written and amazing. i am in awe.
:D

i like her artistic way of looking at him, and i really like... every single sentence. because it's all relevant but you find a way to write beautiful sentences and weave it all together into a beautiful piece of writing. it's very stephenie meyer-esque.

but while i like your way of writing very much, i can't say i really like this plotty thing you made here. >__o; i would have liked it a lot more if i felt it wasn't all just pretty writing, but a story. nonetheless, good job; i certainly would never be able to do something this intricate.

This is great and the use of artists is clever and does add description. Loved it.

Your old work was better and less pretentious--not that there necessarily has to be a connection between the two.

This is cliched without being interesting plot-wise. The heavily sensous imagery feels stale. Its "saving grace" (if indeed it can be called that) is, I suppose, the constant references to historical figures.

But what are we meant to do with them? Get a more vivid picture of the characters in here, and their relationship? Don't be lazy and rely on people that already exist. I know that famous names, fictional or not, are often used as adjectives. A little bit can be effective, but that technique seems to have been abused here.

Moreover, while people might understand "Mephistophelean," "kafkaesque"--that is, famous names, some of the names you use in here seem to serve no purpose other than to confuse readers not in the know.

Now, these criticisms may very well seem extreme, especially considering the nature of this work. I get the "point"--she's an artist. Still, the question is, artist or museum curator? Perhaps we're just used to different artists.

This is beautiful in its sumptuous simplicity and exquisite detail... a very interesting style, that shows well how an artist might view the world, providing insight into a complex creative mind...
Nice work. I'll be watching in future for more.
Erisah

And he peeled the orange. It was too colourful, utterly too saturated in that over-exposed sunlight.

I love the simplicity of an orange packed up against the metaphor of paint. Absolutely beautiful.

Ah... and the idea of a cocking of the head being self-satisfied. Your first paragraph is gorgeous and I'm thinking I ought to try a writing like this, just to force myself to rediscover new ways to describe common scenes. Beautifully done!