|Reviews for The Ocean of Glass|
| openmouthblues 4/24/07 . chapter 1
*sighs* I absolutely love this poem.
I told you I'd get around to it...sorry it took so long, though.
As you said, glass is used an awful lot of times. And, it also seems that the same thing is said over and over each time, until the end, when it changes. Although that could be hurtful to a poem sometimes, in this instance it seems to fit. I especially liked the ending, where it took a different path than I thought it would. The last two stanzas seemed to really speak to me. The stand out from the rest of that poem, and I believe that that was an effect you were hoping for.
*looks up* Wow. I wrotededed a whole paragraph. You deserve kudos.
| Ironic Presence 4/16/07 . chapter 1
Wow! I'm honored! *blushes* Whoever thought anything I wrote would inspire someone? Thanks for the review! I do admit the work is a little rough, but I consider all of my work in the same manner.
I like your take on it. Between "Some roll around in the glass/Some try jumping through the glass" sounds a tad repetitive, but I still love this poem. It was incredibly fascinating-you must have spent some time wondering who exactly travels through the field of broken glass and what fates they end with. If not, it is still awesome.
I especially love the last three lines:
"And it is through this we must journey
If we are to find our way out of this world
And into a better one"
-it was the point I was trying to make with the work. ;)
You wrote this at nearly 2 in the morning? Wow. That takes some talent. ;)
This made my day! Thank you! :D
| Strike Me Dead 4/9/07 . chapter 1
Firstly, I would like to thank you for the reviews you left me; I truly appreciate them. I don't actually write anymore - my most recent piece was a warm-up for a poem that I had to write for a class that I'm taking. But thank you all the same.
You are intimidating to me...it's interesting...
This poem is...remarkable in its meaning. I like the analogies and the meanings you imply through them; it is extremely bitter and yet so hopeful at the same time, and that is hard to achieve. To me, it is about aging. I have found that with age, nothing becomes easier, and that is obviously hard to cope with sometimes. I think the ways you describe certain types of people spoke to me in particular; the way you described the glass-seekers, and the ones who jump through the glass, and others who roll around in it. The truth in those words is...indescribable and refreshing.
As for the mechanics. I feel like this poem could flow better, but your use of vocabulary (and metaphors, as I've already said) are extremely striking. Some of the stanzas seem discordant to me in the way that they flow; sometimes when I find this happening to me, I go back and count the syllables in each line and try to find a form to use just for the practice, and go back and rework it later.
You and a lot of other people might disagree with me on these points, and that's perfectly okay, because I must tell you honestly that I know basically nothing. I wanted to repay you for the reviews you left me, though, and so here one is.
Thanks again, and God bless.
| Liebchen Rose 4/8/07 . chapter 1
One of your best pieces yet. I wonder where I would fall in this? ;) Beautiful love.
| TaltushMeiMei 4/8/07 . chapter 1
This is pretty. It's quite long, but it still flowed and felt nice. Great job.