Reviews for Pharaoh - FictionPress.com

Reviews For: Pharaoh - Reviews: Page 1 of 3

N. Nielsen 2008-08-20 ch 2,	abuseAn absolutely wonderful story and once again a period of Ancient Egyptian history which hasn't been worked over by scores of more or less serious authors. As an Egyptology student I absolutely love the historical accuracy in the description of for instance the chariot. keep writing and look up my story set in Ancient Egypt (however during the reign of Ramses I) if you have time :)
GRAYTEXT 2008-08-05 ch 13,	abusePoor Kraos. I don't think I could have remained pleasant in face of all those suitors. It shows the depths he is willing to go to be considered a good pharoah. I didn't see anything to point out, really. Great job. I especially liked the closing line.
woodland.goddess 2008-07-30 ch 12,	abuseI'm still reading! I'm sorry it's so late! when 11 came out I was in the middle of finals and exams, I read it and loved it, but never quite got around to reviewing, and I just got back yesterday from studying abroad in the United Kingdom. So you cna imagine how busy that got, studying coupled with travel. I've had the alert sitting in my inbox for a month, and I've been waiting eagerly to read it as soon as I got home. I love this story, it's easily one of my two favourites on fictionpress. Political intrigue is so much fun, especially in ancient Egypt. I noticed though, that in chapters eleven and twelve there's an instance in each where you accidentlly (probably from typing too quickly) spelt 'Kraos' as 'Kroas'. Obviously that's a very minor critique, but you may want to do a word find for it and correct them. I do not trust Tor. I have a feeling that he may be scoping out his options, seemingly aligning himself with both Panya and Iset, intending to side with whichever woman can offer him the most. I still foresee some sort of romantic affair between him and Iset though ... maybe resulting in a lover's betrayal. Hmm... Just reading your response to reviewers, I'll be sad to see Kraos become a pawn, or even worse, a puppet king, but I suppose that was inevitable with such ambitious women surrounding him. As soon as I saw that you were going to deal with the banquet, I was hoping that this chapter would be from Iset's perspective, now that I see that it's a two-part chapter, I'm hoping the second part will centre around Nari. I think it would be very interesting to see both sisters' takes on the social elements of the party. I worry for Nari, and can't wait to see where her story line goes. I hope it doesn't end too tragically. But whatever you end up doing, I know that I'll love it. Keep up the fabulous work.
GRAYTEXT 2008-07-14 ch 12,	abuseAnd so Iset is saved by lust. Or is she? Something about Tor makes me think he has his own agenda in mind, but I guess I'll just have to wait and see. As for chapter 11, I'm quite surprised that Kraos is holding on to his compassion. It's endearing really. Power tends to corrupt. We'll see how long he lasts. The acrobat metaphor in 12 was good. I've never thought about Egyptians having them, but if they did, all the more reason to love their culture. Acrobats/ contortionists are some of my favorite shows to watch. Keep up the great work!
Carmel March 2008-07-11 ch 12,	abuseThis story just continues to amaze me. I love every bit of it! I hope to read more soon :) ~Carm~
Xavierus 2008-07-09 ch 12,	abuseI agree with GRAYTEXT, even more so in this chapter Iset is showing some compassion for her sister. As always a great chapter, I like all the political powerplay that is becoming more and more evident as the story progresses. I think we are beginning to see a side of Kraos that shows that he isn't being completley ruled by his mother, or I think that he at least realises that he is. I can't wait for the next chapter.
Carmel March 2008-06-21 ch 11,	abuseEven though it's been a bit since I've read this story (which I'm so terribly sorry for), I immediately got right into the story line, the characters, everything. I love this :) Keep up the great work! ~Carm~
Xavierus 2008-06-10 ch 11,	abuseAnother great chapter. I think this is a good chapter for reaffirming where most of the characters are at this point in the story. I'll be interested to find out whether at this point Kraos becomes a pawn in his mother's game or whether he is oing to gain control fully over his own political power. You are right though it is a long chapter, I had to read it in two parts, but it was still very good, and I can't wait for the next installment.
Carmel March 2008-02-04 ch 10,	abuseEven though it's been awhile since I've been on Fictionpress, I've definitely not forgotten this story. I'm loving it! It's this kind of story that keeps me coming back for more. So, I hope to see more from you soon :) ~Carm~
woodland.goddess 2007-12-30 ch 10,	abuseIt's great to see a new chapter from you. You have no idea how excited I was to see this in my inbox. First, I found a very minor error in my read through: "It was an inexplicable dislike Nari, a gut feeling." There seems to be a word missing in that sentence, I'm not really sure what it might be though. 'For' maybe? Otherwise I thoroughly enjoyed the chapter. It was nice to finally meet Sraemy. I like him very much, which makes me sad because I have a feeling he might die. I actually have a theory: Nari will convince him to run away with her, they'll get caught and Sraemy will get the blame. I'm not sure how accurate that it (I hope it's not, I'd rather be surprised). I hope he's not spying on her, that would be awful. The pomegranite bit was lovely. I really enjoyed it. The extended metaphor was beautiful, and significant as well, I think. Iset is a good actress, but I don't trust her. At all. That kindness wasn't sincere, she's trying to set Nari up for something, I'm not sure what yet, but I can't wait to find out! Brilliant chapter, I don't mind at all that it's shorter. I hope to see more from you soon.
Xavierus 2007-12-30 ch 10,	abuseWell done, another great chapter. Don't worry about it taking so long, it takes me ages to write anything, and you8 were moviong weren't you so lots of chaos, lol. I love the Pomegranite metaphor, I think that Nari is going to finally push herself to do something about the problems she faces. The description is amazing as always, and the way you portrayed both Nari and Iset. Well have fun and keep writing.
GRAYTEXT 2007-12-30 ch 10,	abuseI'm surprised at Iset's apparent humane way of eliminating Nari as a threat, or is it just an appearance. I wish the best for Nari. Great chapter. Don't worry about it being short. You've got to let the chapter decide the length, otherwise the flow's off. I liked the pomegranate metaphor. I have a lot of respect for that sort of abstract thinking.
GRAYTEXT 2007-11-28 ch 3,	abuseSo far, I like what I'm reading. I've studied Egypt since I was little so I appreciate your accuracy. One thing I did notice, however, was the pharoah calling the northern part of Egypt "Upper Egypt." It's one of the quirky things about African geography that the Nile runs south to north, instead of the other way around. Therefore, northern Egypt is "Lower Egypt" and southern Egypt is "Upper Egypt." Other than that fact, I have found nothing wrong with the piece, and I look forward to reading the rest of it.
woodland.goddess 2007-09-01 ch 9,	abuseOkay. I tried to review this last night, but my computer screwed up and Fictionpress ate my review. I'll summarize what I said in point form. -your story is incredibly fun to read -it was nice to see Iset's human side as she grieved for her father -I loved the introduction of Panya, it's easy to see where Iset gets it, but Panya is quite obviously the master -I sense that Iset is somewhat afraid of her mother in addition to simply disliking her -I feel sorry for Nari -I admire the amount of research you do; the description of the funeral procession was awesome So, I hope your move goes smoothly, and best of luck with your studies once you get back to school. I hope this review sends properly...
Carmel March 2007-08-28 ch 9,	abuseGreat, great chapter. Due to my current state of brain-dead-ness, I can't think of anything more intelligent to say, except that I loved this, and I'll be waiting for your next update :) ~Carm~

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