Wow, that was kind of depressing at the end there (as I assume was kind of the whole point), but great nonetheless. Very well-written over all, and an interesting point of view. I enjoyed it!

I think you captured Althea's feelings quite well, though I feel her emotions were a roller coaster ride. The onstage descriptions were realistic, in my opinion, though I've never taken the stage myself. I find I can't feel very sympathetic toward Althea, however; it seems she only loves the adoring attention she receives onstage. I think her offstage persona needs a little more explaining, like why is she so devastated after being onstage? The others seem perfectly fine. Why does she feel like such an outcast, so worthless, when she's not performing? I'd like more background history to better understand why she can't cope with the transition. But I think you did well with this. The emotion was very much present.

That was...good. Sorry, couldn't resist. I was drawn to this story because I wrote one similar to it, it's up on my page if you're interested in reading it, it's written in a different style but I think it works...
anyway, back to you! I like the way you described the chaos and tumult of playing onstage. I think you captured the feeling of it very well.
I thought it was strange that, for whatever reason, Althea suddenly breaks down backstage. I understand that the transition from onstage/offstage reality is pretty drastic, but why does she have such a hard time with it, as opposed to everyone else? I think if you were to put more information about the characters, or even just Althea, your story would benefit greatly for it.

Very interesting starting lines, I have to say. Made me want to read on instantly, which is a good feat since its usually the start that makes people decide if they'll read onwards or not.

This was a very in-depth character-based piece. I liked how you brought out the different sides of Thea, how she acted on stage, how her thoughts were different depending on where she was, etc.

I think you may have dragged on the part where she was on stage. I felt it was just a bunch of descriptions and actions that in the end could be easily summarized and say just as much. Thats only a minor problem.

A bit bigger of a problem is that I, despite all of this depth, had a hard time sympathizing with Thea. She goes through many different personas it seems, and I cant really keep up. But it was indeed interesting and I think also realistic look.

-Frac
PS! If your bored check out the Review Game's Review Marathon (links in my profile)

How sad. This story was BEAUTIFUL, though. The description of everything was enchanting. I adored this. It's small and simple, a scene from a life... I wish you had explained the meaning of her pain back stage... maybe made more of a contrast between who she is on stage and who she is offstage - made it very obvious that she's like socially awkward or something so that it makes sense that she's crying. It only KIND OF makes sense now... like, I think I understand - that she feels powerless when not on stage... but like, there was all that talk up in the earlier part of the story of how the entire focus is always on Brain, and it seems like that gets lost if at the end it's not even mentioned.

Still - GOOD.

-Jesse
Behold the Review Marathon! (link in my profile)

That was... wow. If you don't mind me asking, who's that rock goddess who inspired you to write that awesome one-shot?

This is really interesting!
I love how dramatic it is and how dramatic Althea's intense need for attention is.
pretty good!

Depressing and dark, but a nice read. Personally, I enjoy stories more if they consist of more speech than this one, which is almost entirely description. I still liked it though.
~ Tamara

Wow, you have really captured the high that she experiences when she's performing. It's all-consuming. And the psychological turmoil she experiences when separated from that is incredibly absorbing. You've done an amazing job with this. Using the word "devastation" in the title is so appropriate because it's the only word to match the truama you describe at the end. Absolutely beautiful.

Ahh, the ups and downs of stardom. I think you did a very good job on this! I hope FP will fix your problem.