FictionPress.com - let the words flow
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| DreamWeaver010 2007-12-16 ch 1,   | I really like your use of words like yonder and anon. I also love the flow and fairy-tale/fable feel this piece has to it. Sneaky little fox, though. |
| xDancingintheRainx 2007-06-18 ch 1, | I remember reading a story like this when I was younger. I think yours was definitely better written though. I especially liked: "Over mountain and yonder hill flew she. Her wings swooshed up and down with grace and ease. The landscape rose and fell as though dancing to the rhythm. Shades of jumping colors and leaves swirled around until a glen sprung forth and she landed her talons upon the ground." and "Along the familiar path trotted Mr. Fox towards Mrs. Raven's tree called home. With a strut and a grin, he kicked up leaves, his furry mind full of mischief. Walking this way, as fate would to it belong, he would be reaching his destiny anon." I like the repetetiveness of those two phrases. Excellent work! |
| SirScott 2007-05-05 ch 1, | It is amazing how flattery can get you what you want. This puts me in mind of Aesop. Good lesson. ~SirScott |
| A-Starr1691 2007-04-15 ch 1, | I find this pretty funny. But this is also a great read. Though I've never heard this as a child it was great for laughs. |
| Graearose 2007-04-10 ch 1, | The style of the language is redolent of fables written long ago. Nice work there. Sometimes, however, it seems a little inconsistent. This is a classic fairy tale, and you have kept it alive with great imagery and detail. And, like fables should be, the moral is evident in the plot. Good work. |