FictionPress.com - let the words flow
| FictionPress.com - let the words flow |
|
| Home Just In Communities Forums Beta Readers Dictionary Search | Login Register Extras |
| Fantome D'Ombre 2007-07-14 ch 2, anon. | abuseinteresting chapter and overall story. =] |
| Catseye*Rose 2007-04-28 ch 2,  | abuseThat is quite the group! I like Damien the best, I think :P I'm kinda feeling sorry for Terry...heh. This story looks like it's gonna be a lot of fun!! Looking forward to more!! |
| Error-Author 2007-04-27 ch 2, | abuseWhoo! Very promising start! I don't think your storyline is done to death at all. I love the six ^_^ they sound like such a fun bunch. Man, I can hardly wait to see how Terry reacts to all of them. And the six have such a huge background of training O__o I felt very inadequate after reading about them, heh. I really liked how the judges questioned them in the interview. Very realistic, that it didn't go completely smoothly. The only thing I can think of to suggest is perhaps some more scene setup. Like, when you switch scenes from inside with the judges to outside, I'd like to know where they are. I picture a sidewalk, but yea, maybe it's just me and my obsessive detail cravings. Eheh. Just more narrative to add to your dialog. That's my only suggestion. But its only a suggestion of my preference so its really just one persons opinion. (mine, aha) Am waiting on more! ^_^ Fantastic job, another great story by the almighty Nara. Oh, p.s. I found another suggestion. I found it a bit hard to digest when you had all of the six's descriptions all in one. Perhaps you could just toss in little hints about their appearance throughout the following chapters (after the description parts. I like the descriptions, I just forget things easily, heh.). Know what I mean? I dunno if it'd work without sounding funny, but I just thought I'd mention it cause I can't remember what a couple of them look like now, after I'm done reading. |
| no account 2007-04-13 ch 1, anon. | abusei saw you have a new story so obviously i read it. i liked it, i am intrigued thus far. i just wonder these six people, lucile's friends, is this their normal job - helping spoiled, rich kids, or do they always work together in some capacity also how did she/they find out about the position? |
| Catseye*Rose 2007-04-10 ch 1, | abuseOh, this looks like it's gonna be fun!! First "president's son" story I've seen... Hee, Lucile's kinda scary... |