After my first reading, I almost thought you could divide this into two seperate pieces, but the last stanza really pulls everything together. After reading it again i see it as a more cohesive piece.

"Who will notice the departed

When everyone is carving their own name?"

-I LOVE LOVE LOVE these two lines.

"Time marches impassively on

Trampling cold caskets beneath its feet

Snuffing the last sparks out."
-Great personification here! I'm kinda torn about the wording in the first line, part of me wishes it were "Time marches on impassively" but yet I still kinda like the way you have it.

i like it very much. i think it kind of goes between two styles, or voices, though...the first part and the last stanza are alike, while the middle is changed dramatically. still, its very truthful and i can relate.