FictionPress.com - let the words flow
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| Twilight Starr 2007-11-07 ch 1,  | abuseGood poem. I think we all want to be free sometimes. ~Twilight Starr~ |
| Angels Broken Shadow 2007-08-22 ch 1, | abuseOh. Crap. That was incredible. I've only really started reading poetry on this site since my friend started posting hers (and I starting writing some, natch) but this is possibly the best poem I have ever read. Not just on the internet but ever. Ever. I'm really pathetic, I know, but it really is incredible. My reviews do tend to gush sometimes, and the last one I gave you certainly did, but there you have it. It is a stupendous poem. |
| QueenVixta 2007-06-05 ch 1, | abuseVery powerful piece and very well written. I like the repetition because I feel that it reinforces what you are staying and really adds to the poem. Really well done, great poe. {V} P.s Thanks for your review, it meant a lot! |
| M. Edmondson 2007-06-01 ch 1, | abuseYour poem held powerful words, though I didn't feel any magic with in them. I hate to be rather rued, and I really don't mean to be, I'm just saying that I think you should take more time with your poetry to make your words deeper. In this poem it seems very blunt, and glib. Make your poem more capitvating. As I say to a lot of poets on this sight, but play with your words. And what you said about my poem, I will certainly get to that. I will fullfill your wish of my weak ending and make it stronger for you. I really appreciate your honesty. I'll be reading more of your poetry. |
| hermione032192 2007-05-30 ch 1, | abuseVery powerful. You have a unique voice. ^_^ |
| Ivory Taint 2007-05-26 ch 1, | abuseA bit ambiguous, but that is part of its beauty...^_^ |
| ecwix 2007-05-17 ch 1, | abuseHmm, it's amazing how repetition can make a few words much more piercing. You repeat a few words over and over again here, but yet, they don't seem overused--just more powerful. I like it! |
| perpetual questions 2007-05-04 ch 1, | abuseI actually like the "You awful" at the end. Very dark, good job. |
| Atropa Belladonna87 2007-05-02 ch 1, | abusei'm not sure i quite get this but i think it speaks off clearly some good amount of hatred and inability to escape it. i'm sure the meaning is w/ u but it's expressive nonetheless |
| Nemonus 2007-04-13 ch 1, | abuseInteresting. This is a creative sort of angst-refute, which I like very much. Use of adjectives as nouns is lots and lots of fun. My critiques are that the last line needs to say "you're", but could be gotten rid of entirely. Also, the repitition in the second-to-last could be chopped down a bit, if simply to keep the reader's mind on the nice line "Take your fingers from my mind". "You are the duller" needs a period. Your descriptions are quite unique. Pretty good poem. |
| Ashelin 2007-04-10 ch 1, | abuseSo dark, so undoubtably wonderful. "Take your fingers from my mind,/I want to be free." Beautiful. Great job, keep writing. |