FictionPress.com - let the words flow
| FictionPress.com - let the words flow |
|
| Home Just In Communities Forums Beta Readers Dictionary Search | Login Register Extras |
| luv me like no other 2007-04-13 ch 1,  | abuseNice piece, i really liked it. |
| Taltush/MeiMei 2007-04-11 ch 1, | abuseThis really creeped me out. The writing is good, but the content is... not generally something I'd like to see (meaning live through...). I really like the writing style, though, because it's clear and understandable. |
| A. Harrison 2007-04-11 ch 1, | abuseYour introduction is astounding. You can always tell the style of the author will use within the first paragraph and you caught my attention, really. The thought process is natural. It doesn't sound forced and the transitions are fantastic. "Fake happiness was better than the reality of death." - Love it. "Goodbye cruel world" - Seether lyric? There was only one thing I noted that was a bit eh, so-so. When the woman begins to talk, it doesn't sound natural. It sort of fit in the writing, but try and make it sound more realistic; it'll add to the dramatic effect. Over all this whole story was fantastic. I thought that it would bother me since I had a friend actually go through with that - but I really really enjoyed this. Keep up the good work! |
| Venus Immortelle 2007-04-10 ch 1, | abuseWOW that was a slap in the face. hard hitting becuase it's all true. the first paragraph got me though, becuase i'm a christian. but i don't go to church every day, i simply feel the obligation to defend the father of the heavens. but i won't preach about it. there are those who believe that you don't have to go to church every sunday to show how much you love and worship him. i don't. it's ridiculous. i really like this. i'm looking forward to reading more of your work. |