Like your genre, it really had its drama. I liked how you depicted reality in it. You told it as what we would see everyday in our every lives. Nothing beats reality.

I wasn't just a fan of some of the cursing. I'm not that very religious myself but I still believe in the almighty. There were also some inconsistencies of the tenses but that's all right. So far, it was only the cursing I didn't like about it.

good job!
keep it up!
:)

Nice piece, i really liked it.

This really creeped me out. The writing is good, but the content is... not generally something I'd like to see (meaning live through...). I really like the writing style, though, because it's clear and understandable.

Your introduction is astounding. You can always tell the style of the author will use within the first paragraph and you caught my attention, really. The thought process is natural. It doesn't sound forced and the transitions are fantastic.
"Fake happiness was better than the reality of death." - Love it.
"Goodbye cruel world" - Seether lyric?
There was only one thing I noted that was a bit eh, so-so. When the woman begins to talk, it doesn't sound natural. It sort of fit in the writing, but try and make it sound more realistic; it'll add to the dramatic effect.

Over all this whole story was fantastic. I thought that it would bother me since I had a friend actually go through with that - but I really really enjoyed this. Keep up the good work!

WOW that was a slap in the face. hard hitting becuase it's all true. the first paragraph got me though, becuase i'm a christian. but i don't go to church every day, i simply feel the obligation to defend the father of the heavens. but i won't preach about it. there are those who believe that you don't have to go to church every sunday to show how much you love and worship him. i don't. it's ridiculous. i really like this. i'm looking forward to reading more of your work.