 Nemonus 2007-04-15 . chapter 1The situation, whatever happened, feels real. You have some grammar troubles: "Were waiting" should be 'we're' I think; all "Its" in the fifth and third-to-last line should be 'it's'; "andnd" is an obvious typo; "love struck" needs a dash. Not bad. |
 Moondog Dozier 2007-04-14 . chapter 1Emotion filled and poignant, this really captures the connection well. I like the lack of specific detail, names, places, etc.., it really forces the reader to interpret the actual situation more closely. Very well written. |
 PocoSnow15 2007-04-14 . chapter 1Wow, that was so awesome! I loved the ending, it's so true for a lot of people. Very well done, I loved your emotion! |
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