lol

I don't think I ever reviewed this :0

This story is good and that person, ecwix, was a little too harsh. They should know you don't need commas everwhere.

I can't wait to read your new stories!

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHALMAO!

I loved it...so much. This was awesome xD

Haha, wow. I totally and completely love this and want to take it to my grave to read and laugh about where Spielberg/God chills. Kudos to you buddy! Awesome awesome. Write another one, you're uber funny.

It made me laugh, I have to admit that. xD

But, there WERE a lot of grammer errors. I'm not a grammer freak (believe me!) but next time try to even those out a bit.

Anyhow, thanks for the review! You should try haikus one time. I never thought I could write haikus either until I tried, and hey, what do you know?

Rowan.

lol! I was a little confused about whether Spielberg was the devil or God, or the Nerd's god and the devil at the same time, but who cares. Awesome story! Keep on writing.

That was hilarious! You know, I am Catholic, so it sort of offended me, but it was still funny! Apparently you like Steven Speilberg. And death. I do,...sometimes. Ten at night, please, I am up till like 5! OH YEAH! *does little dance* okay, enough. Funny story!

A very... err... interesting (for a lack of words) story.

I do, however, have a few notes. Most of them are just grammatical errors that I spotted as I was reading through. You seem to have consistent errors with commas in series. When you have three or more objects connected by commas, make sure ALL of them are divided by commas. You seem to often forget the last comma before the "and".

Also, you need commas around names in direct quotations. Yeah, I know I seem like a grammar stickler, but that's just how I am. It's not like I go and parse every single sentence and analyze them, I just mention the things that I see right away as I read it, stuff that pops out. Take the advice or leave it. I don't really mind either way.
--
"They had Gaia online, Ragnarok, StopTazmo, deviant art, radioblogclub, addictive games, drunkduck, the Official website of Star Trek, the official website of Star Wars, world of warcraft of course, neopets, youtube and jockssuck."

I'm pretty sure some of those things above should be capitalized or something like that. Just something that bothers me :p.

Also, a comma belongs after "Youtube".
--
"Then there was the greatest two of all; the King and Queen of the nerd community-Fan Fiction and Fiction Press."

I don't think the semi-colon should be used there, especially since semi-colons are used to separate two independent clauses, and "the King and Queen of the nerd community--Fan Fiction and Fiction Press" is not an independent clause. Perhaps try replacing the semicolon with a dash or comma, or something more appropriate.

Also, there should probably be a comma after "then".
--
"Besides destroying the Earth, wasting nonrenewable resources and creating false religions the internet gave nerds something precious and untouchable."

I would put a comma before "the internet".
--
"On Gaia Susie has 100,0,0 gold."

Comma after "On Gaia"
--
"Some jocks, rich kids and prepulars though had a terrifying power."

Comma after "rich kids".
--
"A pimply, steroid using, rage issue filled jock name Paul towered above the little group of blondes, Abercrombie worshippers and other jocks as he lifted weights to train for wrestling, football, baseball, tennis, basketball, track, the weightlifting team, sumo wrestling, surfing, and polo season."

I would use hyphens between some of the beginning adjectives.

Ex. "A pimply, steroid-using, rage-issue-filled jock named..."

You also had a typo :p. (name -- named)

Thirdly, there should be a comma after "worshippers", since "other jocks" is still in the series.
--
"He recovered physically but never psychologically."

There should be a comma before "but".
--
"The bright side the doctor had said was that every child in Africa had enough food to survive."

I think that "the doctor had said" should be offset in commas or something, since it seems to be a direct quotation.
--
"Damien knew the one way to destroy the uploading center; Mercedes' incompetence with the internet."

Incorrect use of the semi-colon again.
--
"“Damien that is enough,” came a deep, powerful voice from above."

There should be a comma after "Damien".
--
"“No it- it can’t be!” Holy light poured into the hallways purifying the demons and blinding Damien."

Comma after "hallways".
--
"Some nerds began to pray, shout and sing hymns."

Comma after "shout".
--
"Damien said finally acting like an annoyed teenager instead of Satan’s child."

Comma after "said".
--
"“Son that would have been a complete waste of money just like Jaws Three was. And I came to give you your lunch young man!” "

Comma after "Son". Comma after "lunch".
--
"“I am your father AND a God now obey me or be smote!”"

You just sort of mashed together two sentences into one. Maybe end the sentence after "God"?
--
"“Yes dad.”"

Comma after "Yes".
--
"“I’m sorry for destroying your way of life, taking your websites away, killing some of you, attempting genocide, being an ** and killing Roddenberry.”"

Comma after "**".
--
"“Was my lie good enough dad?” Spielberg looked at him expectantly."

Comma after "enough". Also, the wording makes the sentence slightly confusing.
--
" Spielberg glared which caused several daisies to pop up. Even while angry he spread love, joy and pretty flowers!"

Comma after "glared", "angry", and "joy".
--
"So the nerds threw a crazy party with chess games, D&D, role playing and anime watching until TEN AT NIGHT. Wo they craz-ay."

Comma after "playing".
--
"When given the right amount of make up and feminine clothing he grew more docile and acceptant of nerds."

Comma after "clothing".
--
Okay. A few other, non-grammar things. (omg that's a sentence fragment!). In the beginning, you refer to "Fan Fiction and Fiction Press". In the end, you begin using "fanfiction" and "fictionpress". I'd just choose one and stick with it.

Also, the whole story seems very unconnected and impartial. I think the effect could be better if there was more flow between the paragraphs and sentences. Although this is clearly written to be an attempt to be humorous, I'd say that the humorous aspect can be improved by doing something to make the story a lot more connected and smooth.

I found the story somewhat amusing, and laughed at the reference to Spielberg and the whole outrageousness of the whole thing, especially the steroid-using person. The thing about car names was also pretty funny. The voice is also very informal and conversational, which is good for this particular work. With a bit of work, I feel as though this can be a somewhat effective parody, although I'm still sort of confused about the "Damien = Devil-thingy part". You also never really introduce Damien, just mentioning a certain "quiet guy", going into this description of this certain "guy", and then instantly return with conversation involving the name "Damien", never actually mentioning that the aforementioned guy's name was Damien.

Overall, I'd say that I find this story somewhat lacking, although based on the topic, I can't really say I really expected much more from it.

Thanks for reviewing me, and I wish you good luck in any future writings! :)

"now obey me or be smote"
(:
This was so hilarious.
yay for everything you mentioned in the first paragraph.
I loved this.

Hahaha. Kudos to Steven Spielberg! And you for writing this story!

Wow, that was so scarily addictive. Stereotypical characters and jumpy plot, which worked totally fine for this one because that's how it should sound like.

& it still doesn't work for me, what's "the other way"? D: