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| eg 2008-02-09 ch 4, anon. | abuseupdate! |
| eg 2008-02-09 ch 3, anon. | abuseupdate! |
| eg 2008-02-09 ch 2, anon. | abuseupdate! |
| eg 2008-02-09 ch 1, anon. | abuseupdate! |
| re 2008-02-04 ch 4, anon. | abuseupdate! |
| re 2008-02-04 ch 3, anon. | abuseupdate! |
| re 2008-02-04 ch 2, anon. | abuseupdate! |
| re 2008-02-04 ch 1, anon. | abuseupdate |
| CakeForEveryone 2008-01-27 ch 4,  | abuse*sobs* PLEASE! I WANT TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENS! |
| CakeForEveryone 2008-01-27 ch 3, | abuseWill bribery change your mind? |
| CakeForEveryone 2008-01-27 ch 2, | abuseSeriously, I love this story! |
| CakeForEveryone 2008-01-27 ch 1, | abusePlease please please continue this story! |
| Tom 2007-05-19 ch 4, anon. | abuseSimply brilliant! I loved the article at the end, there's so much depth to Razi. Excitedly awaiting the next chapter... |
| nonaccount 2007-05-19 ch 4, | abuseIt's cute how Razi calls Alton "royalty" and how his smile slipped when he realized he probably wouldn't see him in person again. Although, I think Alton's gonna sneak out to see Tattoo Tears in concert. I don't know about the UK and I know even less about their monarchs (even though, obviously, this is fictional) - it just seems a little unbelievable that Alton wouldn't know how to swim. Did he have some sort of traumatic experience? I didn't realize Tattoo Tears was famous enough that Aaron might have thought Alton would have recognized her. Is that one of the reasons she likes to pick up strangers? For the notoriety? |
| Abigail Radle 2007-05-19 ch 4, | abuseRazi is certainly the most interesting of characters thus far, though I gather John would be as well, if he weren't in more of a secondary role. You portray them all rather distinctly, though, which is something since many amateur writers tend to have characters whose attributes grow muddled and rather indistinct the further they write into the story. Razi intrigues me. And the suggestion of his attraction to Alton was well done and underplayed and at the same time rather ... endearing. *lol* The only thing that struck me as confusing was Alton's reaction to Razi in the pool. While the other characters' behavior indicated that Alton was temporarily distracted, there was no allusion to Alton's frame of mind to give the scene a frame of reference. It took me a while to get around to reading this story, and I'm not certain as to why. I guess a part of me wasn't entirely certain that you would be able to give the idea in the summary its due credence. Thus far, you've proven me wrong. Aside from a quibble here and there with Alton's portrayal, you're doing a beautiful job and I look forward to more Razi in the next chapter :) |