[Note: Series title, as well as the title of the last story are still incomprehensible to me. Oh well.]

This one very nearly lost me. It was technically better written than the first one, but the plot was loose, and a little bit passionless.

Really, all in all, it doesn't feel like a short story of its own at all, but rather just a sequence in the over-all story you have going.

In a re-write, I'd dissolve this story, and integrate the events into the other parts.

Again, there's nothing technically wrong with it at all, it just feels vaguely unnecessary.

I'll be moving on to the next part. . . soonish.

These seem to be getting better and better. Some nice philosophy you've got going in this story, I'm sure it's something we've all thought about at one point - whether in this form or another.