«“You didn’t die, you just couldn’t think of anything better to do,” Ellos managed to get out before getting shoved by Damian.

“Excuse him, he’s retarded,” Damian said, giving Ellos a “quote another movie and I’ll ** spank you” glare.»

Brilliant. Damien’s relationship with Ellos is so utterly BRILLIANT (well, slight, slight, slight exaggeration). They’re both so pitifully messed up, yet still so humorous it’s hard to decide whether I’ll end up laughing at them or crying for them. And you manage to portray them without bogging down your writing with too many unnecessary details.

Having finished with that... I’m going to go back to reading now because I actually want to know what’s going to happen to the lot of them now. -_-

And the story moves onward. o_o I expected at least two or three more paragraphs full of discriptions, history, and introductions of characters (though why that can’t last just two chapters boggle the mind), but there’s a beginning of a plot! The writing style for this chapter was also more clear, focused, and fluent than the first three chapters’. I’d rather have a chapter written to move a story forward than a chapter written to inform the readers of the setting and characters, unless both can be written together.

I was hesitant in continuing with the story after I read about Thanatos’s (first) chapter because:

1. The misunderstood badass cliché that Thanatos seemed to embody. If a little more history had been given to substantiate those rumors or their existence – why the hell would someone target one kid in the midst of a school of kids, if indeed there had only been one person behind the falsities? – the entire chapter would have been of more interest and … substance, I suppose. -_-

2. Usually when authors name their characters something odd although their characters live in the normal, everyday world, it’s as if they’re screaming, “Look, There Is Something Special Here!” It’s irritatingly loud and brash, more in-your-face than I had expected anything in a first chapter to be.

3. “Lowerclassmen” and “upperclassmen” are actual words; it isn’t necessary to split them up. I admit I was dense enough that it took me a while (as in, now, while writing this) to realize that you hadn’t meant that those characters in question were men from the lower class (in terms of monetary riches) but actual students. (There were a lot of context clues to validate that, too, so point three isn’t actually as significant as the first two.)

Damien and Owen were one of the few reasons why I didn’t stop reading.

Dee’s OCD and bloodied nails, as well as his dislike for Thanatos, juxtaposed with his less than perfect records as a student was unusual enough to not only be amusing, but a curiosity that makes me want to know more about him. Yet, despite his oddities, Damien still seems human. Or perhaps it’s because of them that he seems human.

As for Owen … «"Here..." a voice said, handing him a tissue. Thanatos looked up and saw Owen kneeling next to him, looking worried. "You're...bleeding..." His voice was careful and was still a good two feet away from him.» XD. I almost laughed at that image of the two of them. Owen’s cute, and so much a child that it’s endearing, though pitiful. It contrasts interestingly with his intelligence.

Speaking of which, why is Owen in the same class as Thanatos, who doesn't seem to do anything, and the rest of those dimwits if he’s already a senior at such a young age?? o_O Is literature just not his forte? Although my AP classes ARE just as distracted and ... un-geeky as Owen's Lit-class seems to be. =/

I e-mailed you a while ago and told you how much I love your story so I figured I should review. I LOVE Owen and Damian, even though he's kinda ** up. Anyway keep going, and I have to find a way to get my roommates to read it... hm. *Goes to pimp out story*

I have one question: Why does everyone have low self-esteem? I love the story and all, but really! I'm mad at Damian(huge understatement), what was the point of him cheating on Thanatos? Is it because of the 'A' on his back? Update soon!