Reviews for On the Wings of A Butterfly

Reviews For: On the Wings of A Butterfly

desertrozea
2007-04-17
ch 1,

abuseA good and powerful, if somewhat short, start.
If Nate is a "steel" king who does not show his "soft" side, I am having a little trouble following the dialogue between him and Fanadel. Does he look up to her? Is she older than him? If so, why isn't she queen? I like the dialogue and personally think that it is the best way to get across a point, but that particular beginning might be better benefited by more development--setting, personalities, etc.
As far as Talia's side, I thought that everything flowed smoothly. The only confusing part was at the end. I know that if I walked into the kitchen and found my mom lying on the floor, I would be quite a bit more upset, especially if she was my only parent. I thought you ended it a bit abruptly.
Please don't let my pointless rantings and ramblings discourage you. I really did like the story and will read the rest of it as you post it.

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