This could be turned into a really interesting longer story, but I've always been a fan of small samplings like this, where you are presented with just a snippet of what's happening and can use your imagination to fill in the rest. Sometimes too much plot can ruin the mystery of a story. I think it's wonderfully satisfying as it is.

Really interesting story, i like the imagery and the way it's written. Very cool

This would make a good story. Make a plot, introduce some people...blah, blah, blah.

Yeah, it's good. Sometimes the words are spaced out too much, but that can be good. You could either introduce what happened to the girl before she entered the Corridor, or continue on with what happens after she sees that thing...or whatever it is.

Good job.

You made it sound so real I thought I was in the corridor with that girl!! I mean I could hear the eerie music playing in the background, and I actually felt like I was watching a film- it was amazing how much suspense and tension you created. So, yeah, I definitely have taken an interest to this. Please do make a story out of this, I would love to read more:)
~**Heart of the RubyFire**