The beginning of this is absolutely intriguing!

Wow. Poor Jasmine! Man, her house sounds like mine on a bad morning, sheesh! But Timothy gives me a sinking feeling. What is he waiting for? Actually, never mind; I could guess, but I really don’t want to admit to that guess. I hope Jasmine doesn’t get into trouble with him.
God bless,
Galadriel

As per your suggestion i read through this story as well and found it to be really different than what I'd expected.
Again, i hope that this is not insulting. But I'll give you a review...simply imagine some unknown person sitting doing with you and outlining basic areas of improvement.

Overall story.
Alright, I'd say that it's in the middle spectrum of originality, mainly because i have heard variations of this plot before. The plot is fine as is, i'm just unclear on the purpose of this piece. Is it about forgiveness, faith or some other theme? Overall, i'd say that the feeling i got from this was that "everything will be alright".

What really troubled me was the overall detachment i experienced as a reader. I pitied the main character but i still felt like i was reading a time line of events rather than experiencing them with her. The text could be made more engaging by adding character detail. For:
Jazz
- her reactions to her parents seem over-the-top in some ways (the first few scenes). You can make them more believable if you have complementary actions (like, rolling her eyes, stiffening back)
- overall, i'd say that adding actions along with her words would really help (like when she fights with renee...have her narrow her eyes or something)

Her Parents
-they seem really 2 dimensional for the most part, until the last bit with the mother. Again, show their attitudes through body language

Tim
Really unexpected and odd end to the boy. It'd help if you added more to this guy...(i actually didn't really like his description near the beginning, it seemed a tad too cliche).
Lol i was sitting there and thinking "WHAT? where did that come from??"
Oh, but i do LOVE the way you had his convo with Jazz, i could really feel the tension. It was really subtly put, i think. (strongest point of the narrative, i'd say)

okay...i'm getting kicked off the compy...but pm if you want

Wow! A great conclusion for a great story! This chapter was so touching~ I especially liked Jasmine's prayer; I had tears in my eyes.

Typo: "Mark and Tin[a] were awakened"

The ending sentence was very good too, fitting with the sentence that began the whole piece. ^^ I'm glad I read this!!

Wow, I liked that flashback! It shows readers a better side of Timothy, and helps understand why Jazz stayed with him one whole year and is sad about his death, despite what he did to her lately.

And I'm glad the Burkes are taking in the baby! ^^ So far I've noticed how in this story you show very well the importance of prayer, and how it actually works, even if for some time it might seem not to~ ^^

I liked the meeting of Alyson and Jasmine here, how you showed that actually the tyrannical parent is Jasmine's father, and the whole family is suffering because he refuses to let Jazz come back...

Timothy's suicide really was sudden too! I liked the sentence "silence boomed in the room" - it does show well the reaction to hearing about someone's death. And suicide really is drastic...

Interesting chapter, and I'm curious about how it will go on! ^^

Nitpicks first:

"something she did quit[e] often"
"How could I want to kill my own child[?]"
"A tear slid[] down her cheek "
"calling you it[]s mother"

I liked this chapter a lot, how it brings in the possibility of the Burkes' taking care of Jazz's baby, and hints on the power of prayer~ That last bit really is a rather nasty cliffhanger! So I'll have to go right over to the next chapter now!! ^^

Oh, and I also like the way you began with Mark typing up his sermon. It's so rare that one finds scenes describing a pastor's life, when pastors are actually such interesting people :P

Wow... I really didn't expect Timothy to so quickly take advantage of her... ouch. Getting pregnant and having such parents around isn't a good combination... I'm really wondering what will happen next! Poor Jazz...

I like how in this chapter, you changed the point of view to Renee, Tina and Mark, instead of mainly Jasmine's point of view in the other chapters. It shows their characters very clearly and the way they see her, though maybe it would have been interesting to bring in Jazz's thoughts when she first noticed she was pregnant, maybe afraid about what her parents would think, etc... but like this it is great too!! I still love this story!

Only one little typo: "By this time, Mark had become more th[a]n worried"

Great chapter again! Jasmine really has a hard life! The characters so far are great, and I couldn't find any spelling mistakes, just one little grammar thing:

"It's all right[.] Bad day?" - I think it was meant to be a full-stop?

Anyway, I really liked this chapter and how it shows even more than in the last chapter the high expectations Jasmine's parents have for her, and how she has to find a way to do everything for school, youth group etc plus keep them happy! It doesn't seem at all easy, and I like how you showed that so well~ I'm wondering, though, why Jazz's parents didn't help Esther themselves when she cut herself, since they were the ones who told Jazz...

Great beginning! I like how you show Jasmine's background with her family being so demanding, and how you show her character when she's relating to her friends. So far I like it, and I'll come by again to read some more! :)

Oh man. I can't even say how great this was! It was kind of short, but so brilliant. So full of faith and trials and pain, but still beautiful. You wrote it wonderfully, and made it so we adored the characters. What more can I say? This was just amazing.

Nice introduction. It was kind of in-your-face jumpy, though, so I'd advise not using to many scene breaks. But other than that, your characters are interesting, and readers can already see the flip sides of Jasmine's life.

Keep writing!

Hey! I'm so sorry it's taken me this long to leave a review. It's been a hectic week...

This last chapter is a perfect ending! That scene with Jasmine holding Lilly is so touching - and her prayer is so genuine; so heartfelt. It's so wonderful to see her still able to place her trust in God, after everything that has happened to her...

When I first started reading this story, I wasn't quite sure how you were going to tie the beginning letter with the rest of the plot. I understood what was going on, but I just didn't know what you were going to do with it. You tied it in perfectly, though! I love how you finished the letter in the end of the story - it's really effective in pulling it all together.

This is really a beautiful story - I could see you developing it even more, stretching out the events to create a whole book. It would make a very gripping, emotional novel. :) Wonderful, wonderful work! I'm looking forward to reading a LOT more from you - and I'll be keeping my eyes open for Esther's Journal... :D

God bless!
~Cesalie

I see nothing wrong with the story so far even though I usually don't read T unless it is Christian ralated. But I wanted to leave you a review for you took time out to review my poem. Thank ya! Keep up the great work, the story is very interesting.

Oh so is Sasha her older sister?

I love this story already but to me it lacks in details.
But thats just me...
And i think that's really the only "critisicm" i have...
Excuse my spelling if its wrong...
However The plot so far is great!
Im guessing that Tina and Mark are like her second family maybe? i dunno
Guess i have to keep reading...