Everyone deserves to love and be love. Just because you were manipulated by your boyfriend, does not mean that you do not deserve to experience love.

I was in a similar situation 8 months ago. I lost my best friend for a year and a half because my boyfriend somehow convinced me she was awful for our relationship and forbade me to see her. It didn't stop there. He never let me talk to boys or socialize with anyone other than him.

In other words, I was in an abusive relationship.

When it ended (after all the abuse crap I put up with and after I found out he cheated on me with some 13 year old **--at the time we were both 18, so that would make him a pedo), I went back to my best friend after not speaking to her for so long.

You know what she said?

"Oh thank God, I've got my bestie back."

wow, this is purely amazing, im happy that you are happy as well, sometimes you have to shut a door to open another :-) i love you and miss you so much!

if this really is a true story, you are being too harsh on yourself, everyone makes dumb arse mistakes, and from reading this you have learned so much from it, so forgive yourself and stop beating yourself up about it because you deserve to move on

wait, but your only mistake was falling in love, and we all know that you can't help that, nobody can. so what was this tragedy that happened - sorry fir being nosy...your boyfriend obviously didn't deserve you, by the way you described him; whiny and never trusting you. Why would your readers hate you?