The narrarator is despicable... yet pitiable. The victim is so innocent... *sigh* what a tragedy. How sad.

Well written. I just don't understand the last part, though. Maybe my brain is just not working. :P

Presence.

Ouch. That is a very sad ending to such a beautiful poem. I love it. It's telling the story of heartbreak, the deception of life, and the recovery that always happens. Descriptive and beautiful. I wish I could write more along the lines of this.

That. Was. ATROCIOUS.

There are no other words to describe it.

I really like this.

I'm not sure why I like this yet, but I do.

kat

You're right, it is dark, but good. You do have a couple of mistakes though.

In the second stanza the "times" in "and when the times done" should be "time's", and in the third stanze, "amend" in " and try to amend your heart" doesn't make sence, it should probably be mend.

But other than that, great job.