Its an interesting and well rounded plot...we have character identities that are described...some of their traits and part of their actual characters. You have alot of detail...but its not all blended as well as it could be...some is kinda just smooshed in there for example:
"The man was about as tall as Robin himself, had bright green eyes and a heart-shaped face. His skin was very pale, and hair was light brown.Though, on his head was a light blue beanie-type hat, with three inch dog-ears coming down the sides of his head and a tail from the back, crinkled."

could be better written as something like
"The man, who appeared to be about as tall as Robin himself, had bright green eyes, light brown hair, and had a pale, heart-shaped face. On his head he wore a peculiar, light blue, beanie-type hat. The hat was peculiar in that it had three inch long dog ears laying along the sides of it, it also had a short, crinkled tail extending from the back of the hat"

Im not trying to portray myself as an expert...or anything like it...but that, in my opinion, both sounds better...and flows off the tongue better...other than blending details...the only other problems I saw were simple grammatical errors...which dont mean all that much...hm time to read another fic...(If you cant tell this is the first one of your that I've read)
- Kollin