Hmm. This isn't much of anything, I'll admit. It doesn't have any emotion and it barely has substance. It's pretty much one sentence cut up awkwardly and then given the title poem. With very little ANYTHING to it, I've got to say that I can't see what the point is. You have neither great imagery, nor feeling to this poem. It's completely without personality. I'd suggest expanding it so that it means something and has feeling and emotion. Some point or meaning wouldn't hurt either. This needs work.