I actually saw the "red room" flash a while back O__O; Good thing I had my pop-up blocker on. FREAKED ME OUT. My friend sent me the translation for the site but still... freaked me out.

haha you're story is great! definitely loved the suspense

This was really well done. I loved it. It's so creepy, and it gave me the chills. *shudders* But it was so good. I absolutely loved it.

That was fantastic.

My friend actually sent me the URL to this story and told me to read it, that it was definitely worth my time... I'm so glad she did.

Well done. Interesting storyline... Well written... Great pace.
Lisa.

This is actually pretty good.

Although...

I DO have to agree with Lord Leachim. I think the two-day span would have been much more effective. Put yourself in David's position. If you went to school the next day and found out that your friend was dead because of the site, the same site that YOU had been on the previous day, it would hit home pretty hard don't you think? I mean, seriously.

I'm not trying to put your plot down, but I think you may have jumped the gun just a bit with it. Ah, well. Just something to remember when you write another good horror piece.

And the last bit at the end really got me. Is this a true urban legend of Japan? Honestly? *shivers* I'd hate to think so, because I was almost tempted to search for it online, despite my hands shaking.

But if it IS true...oh dear.

Nonetheless, excellent story and I hope to read more of your work! ^_^

~MyFantasyObsession

This would be okay without the silly part where he looks up ** online. You say "He licked his lips" and then a few paragraphs later, you say "He licked his chops." Which is it, lips or chops? The thought of a guy actually licking his lips while clicking on ** links is just goofy.

"It wasn’t often he’d get to view movie clips like this." You've obviously never looked up ** on the internet, have you? And come on, nobody uses Yahoo's search engine anymore. If David was "always on the computer" like Ian says, he would not be looking up ** with a basic search engine like Yahoo.

My only real problem with this, and all stories of this nature, is how quickly the events happen. In one day, the character hears about the urban legend, looks it up, and then falls victim to it. Apparently, all it takes to discover the murderous mystery website is to look it up online and read the article about the japanese girl. It's too easy, and too predictable. The story would have been much better if David had not found the site, and had gone to school the next day to find out Ian was dead. It would have been scarier, because David would have realized just how close he came to getting killed.

Keep in mind I'm not criticizing your writing. The actual writing was fine, I just thought the plot was too contrived and predictable.