This is great! I want to read more!
Although part of me doesn't want Gwen and Mari to find out what the prophecy...that would spoil the fun and end-angst ^^""
Great writing, I love it so far :D

Yay! Funness! I can't wait for the pure fluff chapter.

I must be more tired than I though, because I can't think about any criticism to offer, though I'd like to. I may read it again tomorrow and try to give you something, though.

Less than Three'd,
TGO.

Awesome. This is a nice look onto the structure of the world, just enough of a look into Gwen and Mari's character's, too.

Who's Aspen?

But also, I think the 'ex-hunter' there should either be cut out, or should have gotten a better part, really. Maybe explained why he gave up hunting, or reminisce with Santa?

Great charactors once more! They are getting more and more interesting, and I can't wait to learn more about Tandah. I want to learn how he died...maybe he'll come back? I hope so. He sounds like a cool sire.
Night Silver's Whisper

Ah, I love these charactors to death! :)

Anyway, I think that this fairy (i.e judge) is really a good charactor. I feel already like he is a very clear charactor with a very understandable personality. Simple, but in a good way.

The only thing I will say is...that I don't have a clue what the fairy looks like, other than that he has wings. Maybe a bit of discription might be good there?
Night Silver's Whisper

Fan-bloody-tastic. This chapter was great! I couldn't take my eyes on the page the entire time. It takes skill to distract me so much :) I loved it, and I can't wait to read more!

~carm~

I lurve it. This Mari girl makes me smile; I love how cold hearted she can be. Haha. So yeah, I'm pretty much in love with this.

I really liked this chapter, so well written and I feel like I know Marienne (Mari :P) a little better. It's intrigued me more! Can't wait to red the next chapter :)

This sounds great so far, I love the characters: I'm particularly fond of Gwen. I really can't wait to get deeper into the plotline. Keep at it :)

This seemed a little short. I don't think you can lengthen it without adding more content, but it just seems too small. I think it would be wise to do something more in future.

However, the quality of this is inspiring me more and more to write something in first person present tense too. However, right now everything in inspiring me, so that's not hard.

CONCERT IN JULY!

great chapter, if a little short.
TGO.

It's perfectly constructed for a beginning. Just enough detail, letting things slip into place at just the right moments.

However, I'm not totally sure how much this would help, but the construction of Mari seems a little flawed here; She doesn't seem confused enough to be a fledgling, she doesn't seem scared enough to have no parent over her shoulder. Maybe it hasn't totally sunk in yet, and that fear come later, or maybe she's just not the type of person to go through that. Either way, it would be wise to either creep in fear, or make her very clearly headstrong enough to not fear in that way.

I certainly hope that made some kind of sense.
TGO.

Hmm, very interesting. Very interesting indeed. Great chapter...it really gave some insight as to what's in store for Marienne and Gwen. I liked it a lot :) Can't wait to read more!

~carm~

For some reason this reminds me of Halloween Town High. Lol. I loved this chap. Update soon!

I like how the point of view changes...

Hi there! Well done. I finally got around to reading it.

I would say that its probably a bit long, and description of what she looks like, as well as the guy, would be a good idea. More details on appearence.

It's very clear though. I understood everything, and my intrigue was grabbed very quickly. Dialog was very well played, and at the end I am left with my curiousity peaked.

Well performed!
Night Silver's Whisper

I don't have time to leave a long review like yours... But I love this story! You're so creative, and this is really original. Update soon and keep up the great work!